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SILENT STEALERS WE..... two versions

When you steal a kiss
and
seal it
it is a stolen one
never will be forgotten..

and
every time you vibrate
with a different one
energy changes drastically

depends on how fast you are
to bring about drastic change
in your own life's game

be it day or night
change is always deservedly right
use all your might
two in one
silent moment

Second Version

When you steel a kiss
and
seal it
it is a stolen one
will never be forgotten

and

every time you vibrate
or
oscillate
with a different one
energy
changes fantastically
drastically

depends on how speedy you are
to bring about a marvelous
change
in your very own
life's passionate game

be it day or night
change is always
deservedly right
use all your might
to make it blisteringly bright

two in one
silent moment
steal or steel
it must cement
and will

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
TWO VERSIONS SAME AIM DIFFERENT WAYS WHICH IS BETTER
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

the first one best. It is less complicated and makes the point just as easily. ~ Geez.
.

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Hi, Lovedly,
I agree with Geezer - I like the first version better. It seems simpler and more straight to the point, much like a stolen kiss.
Thank you!
L

Gee and Lav

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