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Silence of the Whistles...

Masked by the noises in my ears
The little voices in my head
Are getting more difficult to hear
As I lie here in my bed

The ringing, buzzing, ticking sounds
Shrill trilling birds of craziness
Won't let me keep my T.V. down
My wife is shouting, "How 'bout less?"

Loss of tones, makes me weep
I cannot hear some voices now
Saying "What?" when voices steep
I Have some people saying, "Wow!"

But, this morning, I did awake
To a chorus of "Birdie" song
Sweet trills of notes, they do make
Make me want to sing along

Some days, the hours, they just fly by
I pass the hours listening
Folks still talk, don't ask me why
They can't hear my birds whistling

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Last few words: 
I'm not sure if I got my message across. I suffer from tinnitus: ringing, clicking, whining noises that pervade my life, and mask some tones, making it difficult to hear some voices; [they sound garbled], high-pitched sounds like the alert on the stove or turn-signal in the car. In order to hear everything on TV or radio, it has to be louder than usual. Not deafening, but uncomfortable for some.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Yes it comes across, I'm sorry for your frustration, ears look uncomplicated but they are as complicated as everything else. I hope you find some kind of peace, I know many people who suffer this type of problem.
As usual your poetry pen has written something we can al relate too. Great to see you back buddy.

Thank you...Teddy

Mine comes from working in noisey environments without ear-protection in the days when the federal program of OSHA was a joke. They would send notice to a company a week or two ahead of time and the companies would rush around providing the required [gloves, aprons, eye and ear protections etc.] But a few days after the inspections, said gear would be unavailable, [but on order] until next inspection. I worked with many poisonous chemicals and endured dangerous conditions over the years. My tinnitus is just one of the symptoms I now bear. Anyway, glad that it resonates with some people and maybe it will help someone avoid an unsafe working environment. Glad that you are glad I am back. ~ Geez.
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I've seen many hints of this in your past poetry, I am saddened to hear that you suffer because you and so many others were merely taken advantage of. The thing is the boss always had protection right? The other thing I truly hope is that your health insurance gives you the opportunity to seek medical attention for your troubles, I know in America it's a much different system to that of Europe. Thanks for explaining more.

Thank you...Teddy

the bosses always had protection! I am on Medicare and a supplemental insurance, so yes, I do have the means to take care of my health problems; and they are coming out with new ways to deal with tinnitus. However, as of yet, there are no cures. I thank you for your concern. I'm always ready to explain anything about any of my work. ~ Geez.
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Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
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author comment

Dear Geez, I can certainly relate to your poem. Though not the same, I've had panic attacks for many years. I also have Fibromyalgia.
As usual, your poem is one of your best. The end rhymes and theme are perfect. It's certainly well spaced, so I have not nits.
Hope your problem gets better soon.
Best wishes and God bless, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

looked up Fibromyalgia and it is indeed, an insdious disease. I feel bad for you and can only wish for you, the same as you wish for me. That your health is as good as it can be. I am beginning to think that most of the poets that I know of are in some way; health compromised. It must be a prerequisite to being a poet. Take care and keep writing. ~ Geez.
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Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
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author comment

I recognized what this was talking about. My grandfather has tinnitus, though seemingly not as . . . loudly, as you do.
As for your title, I think it is superb. Nothing better.
Pacing: Most of the following stanzas are pretty even, but stanza one has almost no flow, which is slightly frustrating to read at the beginning of a poem that gets so much better. Had I not already known of your considerable poetical skills, I would have stopped at stanza one. Maybe a rewrite from a new angle would fix that problem? The biggest jar in stanza one are the last two lines.
There are a few lines throughout that do not match the meter of their fellows, but as this only serves to emphasize them I am going to assume you did it on purpose. Last line in the poem, the word 'a'whistling', while fun, actually breaks up your meter, so doing more harm than good. I would suggest dropping the 'a'.

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

a bit to try and make the beginning stanza work better, but don't think I succeded very well. I also deleted the [a'] from the whistling in the last line, but I don't think I like it better. Let's see how it works out. Some days are better than others, from what my Doctor told me, it is a bunch of different factors, but one of them being blood pressure. The higher your blood pressure, the more likely you are to hear it magnified. I usually awake coughing and trying to get the crap out of my lungs first thing, which definitely raises the old blood pressure! Hey, at least I still have blood pressure, huh? ~ Geez.
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Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
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author comment
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