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Sight of Love

Submitted by scooby on Mon, 2017-06-12 22:56

I hadn't seen you in 3 days.
your face was becoming less
of a face and more of a general
idea. I didn't know when I would
see you again and was afraid of
forgetting what you looked like all
together. But when you walked into
the room I realized that I had forgotten
the little details that make you human.

I had forgotten that voice that I want
to spend all day talking to. I had forgotten
your personality and made you just an
image to crave. When you're gone I'm
blind, I see things only with the main idea.
but with you I see every inside joke, every
little breath taking detail. the sight of love
is not one to yearn for but to fear.

Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
this is about someone i really love and i wanted to share my thoughts of him with you.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

weirdelf

Fri, 2017-07-14 17:53

weirdelf's picture
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The rest I love, it is sensitive, honest and lovely in the nature of absent love.
I love that you love spoken word, I believe it is the real roots of poetry.
Here is my reading-
https://soundcloud.com/neopoet/sight-of-love-by-scooby
If you like it I could post it to our Neopoet.com Facebook site, and to credit it properly you might like to give your full name.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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