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Spirits of the unborn wander
Homeless children as we were told
Their mission, to wreck families
By being born into this planet

They die unexpectedly young
The grieved mothers pleaded in turn
That the youngster should stay and share
The twilight meal with the living

You come with many infant faces
Asking for the impossible
Then hide behind the squeaking door
Mocking us with boastful vengeance

Abiku, Esion-emana or ogbanje
We know, by the marks on your back
Which we placed when you first came here
And left swiftly without notice

Take the goat’s head, we beg of you
We spill the blood for you to drink
But leave my only child alone
He said, he likes it here a lot

Wind blows off your spiritual veil
I see your formless face, peeping
Revealing your deceitful eyes
Go away, seek playmates elsewhere

Ah! I know you, not by the marks
Not what we believed you to be
You are a disease of the blood
Sickle cell anaemia, endorsing death

‘Abiku, Esion-emana or ogbanje’ are some of the local names given to represent the spirit that kills a patient suffering from the syndrome which medical science points out to be Sickle cell anemia.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


my suggestion would be to write it in present tense rather than past - i think that would add to the impact
'Spirits of the unborn wander'
...they die unexpectedly young...' and so on

also the line
'So, seek out for playmates elsewhere'
i would suggest simply 'seek playmates elsewhere'

a sad fact of life, and one well worth railing at
good poetry

love judy

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Thank you for the observation, the piece has been adjusted to the present and your comments are appreciated.

The piece is an attempt at meters except for lines 13 and 28, which came out off-beat

Best wishes

A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light

author comment

I appreciate your comments, best wishes


A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light

author comment
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