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She's Likable... [May's Contest]

I like the dawn and the early hours
I like the morning's dew, opening flowers
I don't like the lonely dark,
nor the slap of hate, leaving a mark

I like the smile of a doggy grin
and the kiss when she comes in
I don't like the weak and tired tales
I don't like when the storm prevails

I like the smell of her perfume
I like the way she leaves a room
I don't like it when woken from a snooze
I don't like people drinking too much booze

I don't like when things have gone wrong
I never have liked things too long
I like the way she sings a song
I really like when she sings along

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

don't these convey the EGO and narcissm in one
Kindly review' Gee

narcissm

If you read the parameters, is "I like, I don't like".

Let's see how you respond to the title,
before you fire off like a rifle.
One would enjoy seeing if you do
Any better than I
Let us see, how about you?

~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

I really like the way you Interoperate the contest displaying your unique style. my favorite lines are:

I like the smile of a doggy grin
and the kiss when she comes in
I don't like the weak and tired tales
I don't like when the storm prevails

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Gotta love the dogs! I don't have one anymore, and I miss having one. Fun little contest, maybe I'll do another version. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

long before I met Steve, I had dogs and cats. Always German Shepards, but when I met him I just had one mostly white cat with gray ears and tail with one spot by his golden eye(s)he was mostly Bernese his name was Gonzo! (he was a Steve is more of a cat person and Gonzo took to him like a duck takes to water! Gonzo even rode on the motorcycle with him, tucked inside his jacket. he would go for walks with me.(more like a dog than a cat.) yes it is a fun contest. I have done another one, but I can't post it yet! thanks for your comment!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Great job incorporating the parameters of the contest as well as the subtle and descriptive ways you conveyed the ups and downs of a relationship mixed in with random likes and dislikes. I thought the title was great and fit the main idea of your poem.

~RoseBlack~

I tried hard to do justice to the title and make it interesting. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment
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