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SHE'S AN ANIMAL (Random challenge Seven)

A gold-digger in cyber space
She flies out like duty ravens

Her sexual intimacy is her VAT
Lust is her custom

In all nooks and crannies
She stages in her selfie:

Pay before service
That’s her mantra

A ruthless lustful will
Banging here and there

A predator in her comfort zone
Caressing and juicing up

With kissing deal
Uninterrupted

She has monetized her body
VIPs on her payroll

Please stay offside of this woman
She’s the Bermuda triangle

A love- trap zone
Of the then dead men

For me she’s an honor loss
Grooming a generation of thorns and tares

Betwixt her legs lie
juicy joy of lust

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

you may be talking about a prostitute that has rich and powerful clients and acquires power from the association. Monetize
should have a [d] at the end. "She's [a] Bermuda Triangle." I would be very surprised if she had more than [two] legs, I think the word is unnecessary. "Between her legs lie." [no [s] on lie. Hope this helps, ~ Geezer.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
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You really did thorough job here in fishing out the lines.

I thank thee for teaching me here.

Read back and check the poem again. i have corrected it immediately.

Geezer

Onyinyechi Cosmos

author comment

I enjoy helping wherever and whenever I can. Sometimes, I get it all wrong and my idea of the poem is not right, but I try to always, make the corrections I think will help with the mechanics of the work. ~ Geezer.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

Between (betwixt)her legs lie
x(The)x sweetest joy of lust

''betwixt her legs lie
juicy joy of lust ''

(just do try)

This is natural for all women

the last line was changed severally until i landed with that line. Yet it never savored the poem.

As i read yours now i got satisfaction with
"betwixt her legs lie
juicy joy of lust ''

it was perfect edit.

Thanks won't depart from me

Onyinyechi Cosmos

author comment

A gold-digger in cyber space
she flies out like duty ravens

her sexual intimacy is her vat?????
lust is her custom

in all nooks and crannies
she stages in her selfies:

pay before service
that’s her mantra

a ruthless lustful will
banging here and there

a predator in her comfort zone
caressing and juicing up
with kissing deal
uninterrupted

she has monetized her body
VIPs on her payroll
please stay offside???? of this woman
she’s the Bermuda triangle

a love- trap zone
of the then dead men

for me she’s an honour loss
grooming a generation of thorns and tares??????

betwixt her legs lie
juicy joy of lust

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