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She Needs A hug Right Now

She Needs A Hug Right now
She's thinking somber thoughts again
I can see the worry furrows
Her mouth is tightened to a frown
She says; "I'm worried don't you know"
I kiss her brow so tenderly
She must feel it matters

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Comments

This is the second good short poem I've read tonight. On a side note you forgot to close your quotation marks.......scribbler

Thanks, I needed that. ~ Gee

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

All I can say is this an incredibly moving poem

Lou xx

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Thank you lou, I felt an intense emotion in the writing of this. I wanted to make it something that everyone could relate to. i'm sure that anyone that has felt compassion for a loved one, in their time of need, has felt like this. ~ Gee xx

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

and to the point - lovely gee
i think the last line is beautiful
love judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Intense emotion doesn't have to be a long drawn out thing, I am so glad that this has gotten the response that it has. I wasn't entirely sure that I had hit the mark. This was written in response to the one that Pugilist had posted. And it is of a personal experience ! So many times we fail to recognise the hurt of others, and respond to it. I am so glad that you liked it! Love ya too, ~ Gee

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

I see it in your words,
so delicately placed to grace our page
with love and style,
well done my Knight,
a worthy pensive poem from you,
we love you one and all.

Ann in the mist.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

my Queen, for you to bless me with your words of honor. I always look forward to your comments. I truly believe that we should be aware of the power we hold in our hearts. We should never hold back the things we feel will soothe the troubles of another.
Thank you, ~ Sir Gee

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

It beckoned to be read because of the title. This a lovely sweet poem - sometimes we just need a hug!

Thank you for sharing and caring.

Love Mand xxxxxxxxxx

been ridiculed by some who think that my expressions of caring, betrays my manhood. But there are others that I know are somewhat jealous of the empathy that I show, and have softened their temperment, to express themselves more fully without fear of emasculation. ~ Geezer xxxxxxxxxx

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

that ALL women would feel safe! Unfortunately, there aren't enough men who would be man enough. Thank you, I appreciate being seen as one who is. Love ya, ~ Gee

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

of the best compliments I could hope for. I wonder about my trying new things, and how they will be recieved. This one was easy to write. I just took it from my life, and when it was done, I knew it it was good. [Not meaning to sound egotisical.] The biggest challenge was trying to meet the criteria for Pugilist's workshop. I'm still not sure that I did, but I really like it anyways. Love ya, with higgest bugs, ~ Guy

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

Sir Gee, I think thou wouldst throw thine cape o'er yonder puddle. Just to know that. Sigh. Chivalry is an art of great magnitude from a great heart..

Lovely delicate poem. Thank you.

~A

an art that must be practiced. I know that your man must be of the sort that practices it daily. For a woman to know what chivalry is, she must have frequent contact with it. It is far too easy to fall into the habit of saying that " she knows I love her", and let it go at that. What is the laundering of said cape, next to the thought that you are wanted and needed? love ya, ~ Sir Gee

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment
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