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sexocity

Submitted by lovedly on Tue, 2014-10-14 14:04

I’d like to cup your face.... and each bit of your face... with my lips I'd love to trace.....let divine set my pace... we will nectar all over trace... twill be my place... where comes a fountain ..and your where shoots like the gun... with ecstatic loves abandon ...we will entwine... like summer vine... in between the integrate... two loving minds... yours and mine.....now is the hour... we have together.... love each other like no other ...you grasp me my whole ...let's be integrated as a single soul ...and live a loving life as one singular sole..but whole...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

wesley snow

Tue, 2014-10-14 16:22

wesley snow's picture
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What about line breaks? I think the poem would benefit from shorter lines, although this has a sort of stream of consciousness effect. Still, this is a keeper.

W. H. Snow

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lovedly

Tue, 2014-10-14 19:26

lovedly's picture

I’d like to cup your face....
and each bit of it lace
with my lips
I'd love to trace.....
let divine set my pace...
we will nectar all over grace...
twill be my place...

where comes a fountain..
and your where shoots like the gun...
with ecstatic loves abandon...
we will entwine...
like summer vine...
in between the integrate...
two loving minds...
yours and mine.....

now is the hour...
we have together....
love each other like no other...
you grasp me, my whole ...
let's be integrated as a single soul...
and live a loving life
as one singular sole..
but whole..

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