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Seven Deadly Sins (Wrath)

Holding anger's rage and hate deep within
Pure self-destructiveness
internally eating me alive.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
So, my new project is the Seven Deadly Sins, I shall post each (Sin) day by day. Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride. Then i shall join them together to make a full Poem.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

hey thats why i'm here to get feed back, yes i agree, I really appreciate it, jerry i know you find it daunting showing your ideas towards others but i truly see it as a compliment, thank you.

so just to explain in england we often use the words "You make my blood boil" when we are angry with someone.

Holding anger's rage and hate
deep within
Pure self-destructiveness internally eating me alive
As I call upon it to feed my boiling rage
Just for spite ? this feels good?

Or this one

Holding anger's rage and hate
deep within
Pure self-destructiveness
internally eating me
As i manifest it to feed my tormented blood
just for spite?

I hope you come back with more feedback.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Thank you so much. I have made a small edit I'm still undecided I like your idea too.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

What about now? I really appreciate your time. It's short but I think it's very to the point I also took the last two words away.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Nap away Sir, and thank you so so much.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment
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