Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Seven Deadly Sins (Pride)

Boasting myself in a costume of glory
It may be the most deplorable sin
but it is as beautiful as I
I'll compete with the Greater Being
I do believe I can win
I often wonder
Is pride really the worst sin?

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
So, my new project is the Seven Deadly Sins, I shall post each (Sin) day by day. Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride. Then i shall join them together to make a full Poem.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

come back to this a bit later. ~ Geez.
.

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

I can't wait for your thoughts Sir.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Boasting myself in a costume of glory, edited, it may sound better?

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

there's nothing wrong with being proud of one's personal achievements in life. However, false pride is vanity, pride in wealth or personal appearance. I'm proud of still being a contributing member of the human race--proud of knowing some nice people like you and others on this site. Jerry

>
>
>Please visit my website: www.jerrykspoetry.com

Thank you sir. And thank you for following this project through to the end. You have been greatly appreciated.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Thank you sir. And thank you for following this project through to the end. You have been greatly appreciated.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

the line "Boasting of myself in a costume of glory." I don't get the connection of "My veins are succulent to perfection."
Almost sounds as though you boast of being a vampire! ~ Geez.
.

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

Dear Geezer Ok now i understand, my veins pumping the proud blood making them bulge like boasting my inner self
i'd really like to make this a good one. i thought the first line and the succulent would be the ones that were risky, i shall put my original beginning back. Oh that line for vampires i like very much now, but you are right doesnt fit well here. i will come up with something better, to sshow vanity

Take two
i just took the line out as it really was redundent, thanks for always making me think, i hope you enjoy it better?

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

I don't always get it right, but I try. ~ Geez.
.

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.