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Senryu

Submitted by Teddy15 on Mon, 2020-07-27 12:42

Eyes of ugly green
Hateful, wicked, envious
Stealing happiness

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Last few words: 
So on a very recent chat with my poet friends gracy and Raj, and in keeping to the theme of the current workshop here's a little something posted as an experiment.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

raj

Mon, 2020-07-27 13:00

I liked the way you used the workshop prompt "jealously" in this Sneryu...good job for sure...you should post it in the workshop I think..

Be well..

raj (sublime_ocean)

Teddy15

Mon, 2020-07-27 13:12

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I shall be taking my holidays from Sunday so I didn't want to join and then disappear, however do you want to know my title that I would have put? I would have put simply
Green eyed monster!

Thank you...Teddy

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raj

Tue, 2020-07-28 01:57

Would have been a good title...happy holidays..

raj (sublime_ocean)

Geezer

Mon, 2020-07-27 14:03

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very well. Nice job and you can still post it in the workshop and say there, that you will be having a little vacation. ~ Geez.
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Teddy15

Mon, 2020-07-27 16:03

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I shall be on my break all month, but i am sure i shall pop my head round. I was wondering instead of also i could change it to wicked? what do you think? this was truly just an experiment but since its here i may as well play with it.

I couldn't wait lol you are busy with cooky monster, I edited slightly

Thank you...Teddy

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Geezer

Mon, 2020-07-27 18:22

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I was just out making a pot of tea, to go with my oatmeal raisin cookies. yes, a great substitution. Wicked sounds more...Well, wicked. LoL ~ Geez.
.

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

Teddy15

Mon, 2020-07-27 18:24

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Thank you. Triple choc would just drive us women mad.

Thank you...Teddy

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Lavender

Mon, 2020-07-27 16:13

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Hi, Teddy,
Perfect topic for a Senryu! Green-eyed Monster will definitely steal all the joy!
Thank you!
L

Teddy15

Mon, 2020-07-27 16:17

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Bloody jealousy, I have honestly never been, I have a sister who always was, I think most have suffered the eyes of the green one in some moment of life. But if we stand tall we can never let it hurt us.

Thank you...Teddy

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