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See More Joy

for I exist as a vapor
then I am no more
tranquility with whispers
inside the corridor
instant gratification to some
wonderful personifications
we exist as nomadic herdsmen
drifting away in the desert
Jesus was a sailor when he
set forth on the water
called out to Peter to meet him further
in every circumstance
we shall learn
to take part in the dance
nothing comes by chance
walk with me come take with me
one hand to hold a heart will bleed
many running to & fro

hearts exposed through the duration of time
signs on the wall want you to be sure
not everything is pure
we bask in the vast expanse
between that of space & time
with perilous times ahead
the thought of the walking dead
hiding behind the false garb of compromise
can't we see through those Satanic lies
see more joy from that of a girl and boy
everyone got the latest gadget and toy
news of the street going to start a beat
Drake is going to sing again then Big Pun
a new day has just begun as
Scotty Piipen has long sense been retired
Eminem doing free style taking it to the extreme
Fetty Wap burning up the scene
yet I see more joy in lovers on the beach
trying to catch that frisbee so far out of reach
with a blink of an eye time passes you by

some call it fate with a new Rolex in hand
the factory worker has left unspoken
Trump has left his ivory tower with just a token
billboards post of the latest news
two hundred dollar pair of shoes
satin sheets and love so devine
J. Lo looking nice with her new behind
Beyounce & Jay Z
life can be a big mystery
coming apart at the seams
love is the essence of my existence
learn to shun the resistance
out of every circumstance learn to
take part in the dance
with fly by shootings out in the street
try to greet your neighbor that's so out of reach

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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Comments

It almost sounded like I could tap the tempo as each line arcs to infinity. I was thought detail is power I figure that out here. This was a really nice poem about Love and the crazy elapse of time. We must not just sit on the fence and never partake in the fantasies of the world because we will be burning daylight out for nothing. I am inspired!

Hommies

as a child I had dreams with visions in my mind
I sought peace from nature & grasp meaning of words
asking a lot of questions along life’s journey
my grandma always said, “Why be in a hurry”.
I drew pictures in the sky of kings and queens
far off places with dungeons and dragons.
always reading book with story’s of adventure
in time I would venture to my swing & sing
although many years have passed still having every reason to grasp a hold of my legacy

Mario Vitale

author comment

"for I exist as a vapor
then I am no more"

Your first verses sound like they are vaporising as they're being read in my mind, and illustrate the transience you are writing of. This is wonderful.

Also adore
"yet I see more joy in lovers on the beach
trying to catch that frisbee so far out of reach
with a blink of an eye time passes you by"

... and the way you ask us to take part of the dance, the eternal dance. I enjoyed every line of your poem. Rhyme, rhythm, words, examples of garbage pop culture — loved it all. I resonate with every line in here. So thank you for sharing this.

 

Love,
Steph

... to remember what it felt like to have my being set alight
beneath the moon when I was full and I was dancing with the night
when I could see beyond my sight
when I could see beyond my sight

Firstly I want to praise your passion and willingness to put it all out there in different forms. It takes moxie and some I enjoy very much. Your output shows me I think you are living poetry at time.
I respect your work a lot, and spend a lot of time with a lot of your work. So please forgive the honesty!

This poem for me starts very good, the first 8 lines are amazing. Then I hit that Leonard Cohen line and the poem dissolves into the dribble of rap. I remember how the word started in the 60's we'd all sit around stoned and talk all night in what became known as rapping, just streams of consciousness, like the beat poets, just going from one thought to another..That what I hear in most slam poetry and rap..Here you name drop a whole bunch of people, places, events in rhyme, and in the end said nothing.
Maybe rap will find its master, but none has emerged yet to challenge the poetry masters of the past...other than perhaps Dylan, which is why he gets the Nobel prize. But this

two hundred dollar pair of shoes
satin sheets and love so devine
J. Lo looking nice with her new behind
Beyounce & Jay Z

This ain't poetry to me. (hope you're still my friend..)

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

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