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The Scary Wilderness (Chapter 4 of A Barrow-load of Untold Stories)

If you follow The Creek, from The Pond, to the west,
turn north once you’ve reached the Top Paddock,
by the Mallee-Shrub Maze, you will reach a small crest
(near the home of the kind Sylvi-Rabbits)....

In The Maze, just last weekend, they all had a party
(it developed to a loud, wild affair)
for Will Willy-Wag-Tail's very first birthday.
Everyone knows him as Billy-Do-Dare.

He's a chirpy and brave little twittering fellow;
he's seen all The Tillings from flight.
For his first birthday party he wanted a disco -
from spot to spot skipping, tail flicking left-right.

His relations have settled to nest in the shed,
above all the shiny machinery.
They're proud Tillings citizens, of very good stead.
It's an honour to go to their party.

Primrose-Helen (remember last year's orphaned lamb?)
she jumped the top fence to attend,
with the piglets, Dom-Jesse, Baby Roo - and Ham,
the stuck-up guinea-pig, who's nobody's friend.

I’ll tell you a story about him sometime
although it is surely just gossip
and not really fit for a kid at bedtime.
(On a side note, they say he’s from Europe).

And Wonda and Wobert Sylvi-Wabbits were there
and a wonderful time they were having,
'til Kathy Koala (bitch) gave them a scare.
(She really is mean now she’s aging)....

I’ve digressed from directions you asked me to give
to help you to locate The Wilderness.
May I stress, please don’t go if you have wish to live.
You insist? Then here is the rest.

Try tip-toe on past the White Gum, old and gnarled,
if you dare, still, to follow your quest,
for Hoo-Ha the Kookaburra, wakened, will snarl,
then insist you should stay, as his guest.

I sincerely suggest you take not one more stride -
go visit the Roos if you like,
they live at The Edge – on the little hillside
to get there, instead of straight on, just turn right.

The dark Scary Wilderness is unmapped terrain
no-body is game to explore,
so unknown a zone it no doubt will remain,
no matter how much you implore.

The only farm person who’s ever been there
is Daisy – the ditsy Blue-dog.
She has never told anyone, that I’m aware,
before back to city, and fence, with Nan Hogg,

just what there is lurking out there in that place
and should we all worry or not.
What animals might make the bushland their base?
What wild things might live in that spot?

The Fox, Lady Freda, abides there I'm told.
(She oft comes to visit the chickens.
Fred-Belch loudly burp-barks then, bravely and bold,
for he also defends silly hens).

If I still haven’t managed to yet persuade you
to give up this foolish crusade,
perhaps I should tell you about a pet gnu,
who we haven’t seen in a decade....

If you want to get back, fast, to Fat-Freddy's pond,
head south-east, the back-fence you'll see.
The wood-heap, you’ll find, will be there on your left,
in the distance, the big old fig tree.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
. https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/fat-freddy-chapter-1-barrow-load-untold-stories https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/wonda-and-wobert-chapter-2-barrow-load-untold-stories https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/fred-belch-chapter-3-barrow-load-untold-stories
Editing stage: 

Comments

Read through this...a days tour..
blusted winds
cold cold cold..

your characters sketched in enough
to hold my interest
a broad narration like a camera sweep
or one persona's thoughts
the actions can be imaginative enough
to slip scenes like a slide show
or flipping the tube button
songs on the cd

Listening to Carla Bruni..
I never did much sit to guitar fire
gatherings
preferring to lay on the dock
looking up feeling the water
underneath me
the heap of space above
me

We had storytelling as children
though......creative format
was expressive....by adults
teen child alike in telling
of the tell

Thank You!

this is a chapter of a longer story (of sorts lol)
- i'm still introducing characters and setting the scene...
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

All four parts, but will need the time. In the meantime read this please.

https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/%C3%A7a%C3%A7%C3%B4-man-morning-s...

It is part one of MY epic poem of which there are now seventy two canto and counting. I would love your critique until I return to "Free".

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

pain has control of me atm.... unable to concentrate, but as soon as I'm back on top of it I will visit your epic
Love judy
xxx
.L

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Don't stop. With something of this size I have little to offer in critique. It is enough you found the avenue to share it. I wish someone would read my epic, but it is too complex for this venue.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

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