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Saudade [Brazilian/English]

Submitted by Geremia on Mon, 2012-08-06 17:53

SAUDADE

Você é fogo-eletrico
rasgando em desejo
dolorosa refração de cores
em cegueira de luz
êxstase de ser
prazer de viver

Você é agua caindo
pelos dedos
rio fugindo na desilusão
promessas quebradas
traição e vontade

e eu sou…
saudade.

LONGING

You are fire electric
ripping into desire
the blinding light of colors
in painful refraction
senses stunned
into the ecstasy of being
pleasure of living

you are water
falling through my fingers
a river fleeing into disillusion
broken promises
betrayal and will

and I am longing

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Bonitaj

Tue, 2012-08-07 14:31

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Your writing is becoming "fire electric" - like turning on a bulb!
Lovely piece. Can hear the incantation of the Portuguese dialect!
Well written, beautifully captured!
Muy linda!

Bonitaj

Geremia

Tue, 2012-08-07 15:20

Geremia's picture

Muito obrigado, Bonita, amiga minha.

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weirdelf

Wed, 2012-08-08 10:35

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utterly un-trite and un-cliche (though it could easily have been)

As Bonita said, fire electric.

And the original Portuguese reads beautifully, without understanding it. Isn't that one of the truly grand things of poetry?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Geremia

Wed, 2012-08-08 11:53

Geremia's picture

Each language I know lends itslef to certain emotions and style. YOU are the one that showed me to keep away from the cliché. The original Portuguese is beautiful. It is an exotic language, simple and diriect.

Thanks ,Jess. I owe you...and Anna.

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