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Saltpan
beaten hard under a harsh sun
losing all sap in the burning urn
left behind are white crystals
adding taste from pan to pan
good deeds no matter how small
though unseen still stand out
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
chevyvent
Sun, 2018-05-27 15:38
Words that could uplift & heal
"beaten hard under a harsh sun
losing all sap in the burning urn", very good choice words:
In words that are simple from the brigade of taste.
Takes you away through both time & space
We learn to embrace each an every step of the way
Words that could uplift & heal;
Here are a few of such delicate pieces:
Mario Vitale
raj
Sun, 2018-05-27 15:40
Thanks Mario for the read and
Thanks Mario for the read and comment...
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raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentIRiz
Mon, 2018-05-28 22:08
I like this one a lot.
I like this one a lot.
Meter is pretty strong.
Idea is conveid by fresh words.
A pleasure to read.
IRiz
raj
Tue, 2018-05-29 05:00
Thanks IRiz
for taking time to read and appreciative comment. Means a lot when poets like you do that.
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raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentIRiz
Tue, 2018-05-29 09:26
I am only a poet when I write
I am only a poet when I write
and a reader for the rest of the time.
IRiz