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Sailing into the eye

Flamboyantly floating
across the
salty sand-filled
sea are two
birds bathed
in the bashful yet
beatific color of blue
me and you .
Sensationally
sailing into the
The world’s
radiant
royal red
eye . That
timidly ticks on
down as time
goes by .

So now as
this
world rests
It’s weary
noble head .
and this
little day dives deep
into depths of an
eternal sleep.
up arising from
the nebulous
of the
night is the
audacious
sight of the
moons
Superlative
Light.

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I like the way the thoughts go

Wish more of them were strung together
The way they are breaks my chain of thought
Making it harder for me to follow.

Just my humble opinion... you’ll write the way you want it, I know

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Thank you

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment

4 th line....sea is two.... maybe instead of is you could try (are)? what do you think, Edward i love your young poet heart, and the fact you take inspiration by Hollywood oldies, in my opinion the best.

true love indeed. beautifully done with imagery that is just such a joy to see.

Thank you...Teddy

I will fix it and thank you for your opinion it is always a pleasure

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment

Hello, Edward,
I love the alliteration in your poetry, but this piece may have just a bit too much - which may distract the reader from some of your beautiful, lovely imagery. The beautiful sunset and the rising moon are especially striking.
Thank you,
L

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