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The Sad Plight of Dear Olde England

What a sad and sickening world it is we live in:
Poor, degraded Britain, a land full of
Violent, adulterous, hypocritical slobs
Not sufficiently educated to hold down a job
In the face of a rival bricklayer
From Poland or Lithuania,

Obsessed with Z-list celebrities
Cavorting about on TV reality shows
Or drooling over topless tarts
In a working-class gutter redtop,
Fascinated by the exploits
Of moronic footballers
Who can barely spell their own name
For a million quid a week.
And that's just the half of it.

The once noble and respected BBC
(slogan: nation shall speak peace unto nation)
Now employs a load of talentless, provincial announcers
Complete with impenetrable regional accents
(including that slimy one with the hideous
sycophantic Welsh sing-song gargle,
and the Scottish bird you need
to switch the subtitles on for)
Spouting banalities and half-truths.
I remember a golden age (ah! Halcyon Days
when hoi polloi knew their place in the world,
i.e. at the bottom of the bloody pile, tongue out),
When BBC announcers spoke decent English;
When they wore evening dress to read the News
(even on the radio, yes it's true);
To show respect for the paying viewers;
When "Arts programmes" didn't include graffito daubers
Burbled on about boringly by Yorkshire pseudo-intellectuals
Or tuneless pop singers with Cockney accents
Thumping hideously on hire-purchase electric guitars;
When you needed to be almost literate
Before being allowed to swab the graffiti off the lav walls.

And now of course, in egalitarism's sacred name,
Everyone can go to a so-called dungheap university
(Easington Polytechnic Media College
of Ethnic Football Management is particularly good
if you happen to be a total and utter idiot)
Provided you can half-spell your own name on the third attempt,
And as long as you can pay the bills.
And in the green and pleasant sodding land,
I am proud to say that the average person's fondest dream
Is to win Big Brother or Tuneless Teen Idol
Or to have virtual TV sex with a celeb.

Sic transit gloria Britanniae - how are the mighty fallen
And howzabout a knighthood for the entire Engerland Squad
To honour the fact they have twenty-two left legs
As well as an excess of extra-common-ness?
No wonder the Scots want out, and the Welsh
And the Cornish; even the Pakistanis would prefer
A wall built around Bradford to keep the locals out,
Or at least earplugs to drown the hideous Yorkie whine.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Sadly my country seems to be intent on self-destruction, both culturally and politically.
Editing stage: 


Welcome to Neopoet. This poem pretty much sums up the problems in England right now. If you have navigation or other problems on site feel free to contact me or any other member via PM and if I can't be of assistance I'll point you to somebody who can........stan

I can see that you have the same problems that we do here. I can see this as a open mic. rant at a local pub. I dare say, that you should get a good response in the middle-class senior places. Much the same as the early beatnik poets, who were considered to be all the rage in the early sixties, you have captured the scene. Welcome to Neopoet and I hope that we will see more of your work and get to know you better. ~ Geezer.

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

nicely written...i now have an eye view of what happening in for the introduction in the storytelling i see that right here though i personally don't live in that space or see it in my America trump is doing the unprecedented most to put up that wall at the southern border of the US and Mexico to keep out many...good work..

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

About my country someone said it's sentiment but is not really, it 'a word of fact and I can see it here from you.
A nice one it's a high time we should stop been scared of our governments.

Bearing in mind the bunch of liars and vicious bullies we have instead of a government at the moment, we should be VERY scared.

Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment

When I wrote about my country someone said it's sentiment but the truth is this is a high time we should stop been afraid of our governments.

In Britain we have a disgusting government of snobs, blatant liars and heartless bastards. They need a good dose of lead to teach them a lesson.

Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment
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