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S U S P I R O

suspension eve
the slow crawl of stars
like a sunset of flame

rising like ashes glowing

funeral lanterns
at midnight
shinning like brilliant
cascades turning

How we landed in our
simple craft
from the great cradle ship
rocked in slings
and sung to sleep
by the sighs of the canvas

the maiden winds
in the lines

Editing stage: 

Comments

we all fail sometimes.

I fail to see why I don't like it. Sorry..

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

realize poetry sometimes goes into the heart of things..
that funerary issues might affect..
the lanterns are a death of a year
but a celebration too
and the falling stars

old mysticisms
make a wish
a death becomes a wish

death long ago was normal
we push it aside uncaring
all the present day troubles

I ran from it I profess but no longer
I shall write of it..........all those
that tried to exit and are still here
getting help now
seeing a vew vision
a new angle

and all those that through battle
or war..here in our continents or
overseas conflicts whatever the
reason..some just do their duty
with no qualms

came back and deal with it
knowing when they went they
would be

maybe why I respect many
today...

they just knew
what to do

just some of my hero
s

author comment

Title is portugese

and the portugese were sailors
I read much on sailing because I love ships
but have an adverse fear of water

"suspension eve" the night crawls
Night watch or night shift sometimes drags.
sometimes Its delightful if one is enjoying
oneself with good company or at ease with
the lonely intimacy of one...

the stars rise slowly....taking forever
finding constellations and galaxies as
smudges....Sunsets flame...
I remember some sunsets that lasted
an eternity and others in the blink were
gone and nights full cloak about like
soft velveteen...

the stars rising like burning ashes
I watched chinese lanterns let go
during christmas on our fancy lake
near us...(The wealthy) there was
I think a ceremony for the departed
or the new year or something..
Chinese lanterns rising in the cold
overcast and winking out when they
hit a height where the wind blew the
candles out or the small votive consumed
itself....But they rose like the stars do
at dusk in the fire of sunset sometimes
..

on time lapse photos the stars blur
a cascade of sparks almost

and life from our mothers womb
where we ride in the sling like sailors
in a ship In water....ashore is the
landing..our sea legs still with us..

the canvas in winds sings...
I sailed one summer on a little two
man craft...
Our mothers heartbeat and breathe...

thus the Maiden use word in the last
line....

literal meaning..the lines...
Our connection to the mother
spiritual and psychic
and the telephone or computer
connection

I kept mine till the end of their time
here....

They brought me
and I was loved as much
as hated and reviled at times

but I carry no torch
and find the symbolism and
myths of all this most interesting...

Failed as a Son
undoubtedly
but I speak of them all the time
my mothers...

I do not pretend they didnt exist
that would be like pretending I didnt
exist and if I do
then I am a ghost
a mask
a shadow

and that Mr Elf
I assure you
I am not!!!!!!!!!

Thank You!

author comment

It still don't get why weirdelf likes your poetry so much!

More importantly, I don't get it! I don't get most of your poems, which is why I don't read them often, or read and don't comment.

Others seem to understand and relate to them, but to me, they're incoherent lines that have this Esker-ish feel to them; but all I see are lines without punctuation.

I'm preparing for Jess's workshop, that's why I'm being so honest.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

Because its personal opinion and poetry is intimate
not all poets are for all

Its okay that you dont get it
I too dont get a lot of things here or in life
but I keep scratching my head too
and I thank you that you
commented

Punctuation I dont think I will ever truly use
but I am interested in how the truly abstract
can be made to be readable and still
maintain its style...still have freshness

Which to me means poetry still has a social
place in society..

I am seeing more and more poetry used
in advertisements and ads

Looking forward to the workshop too

Esker

author comment

I have read Steven for about 5 years. What I find is a series of images and words or phrases that speak to a "subconscious, dyonisian-like, reality.".It is not the individual verse or line I see; it is the poem in its entirety that takes me to "regions unknown."

There is a sense to this poetry--we don;t need to look for it; read and let the electricity burn your imagination.The understanding in in the whole.

joe

see my post

I cater like stienbeck did to the simpler folk
but like he....his private cash background who
published him....the angels behind him..
I know who I am...
my talent ,, my gifts

Thank You!

author comment

I liked this piece, it portrays some of the things from the old sailing ships, I am lucky that an old friend of mine gave me a beautiful model of the Bounty he had made a while back.

rocked in slings
and sung to sleep
by the sighs of the canvas

the maiden winds
in the lines.

As my friend made the model with complete sails all tied and the ropes where the maiden winds flowed and the canvas would sigh, seems to bring life to such a beaut ship.
A write that let me remember Jim that made it, Thanks again, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

On our Great Lakes one could apprentice to be a sailor
I wanted to join but was troubled...I knew I would not make it
but pined for the chance..And knew it was never going to be
but I dreamed...In Tobermory and Great Lakes there are many
ships from eighteen hundred on at the bottom preserved
and stories of old.....General Wolfe had his woman stitch
his pillowcase..fancy things for him...he had this as his bedding
when he was shot fately by a sniper......I liked him...HE was told
to withdraw from battle and put the scope to his bad eye and said
he couldnt see any flag telling him such and went on to win the
battle that took his life..

They put him in rum and got thirsty on the trip home and drank
all the rum they preserved him in but I know he would understand...

author comment

You mentioned General Wolfe he was at the battle of the St Laurence ??, I am not sure but the one about the message and the telescope wasn't that Nelson as all the things you described was what happened to him at Trafalgar in 1805 Hope this is right, It is gone midnight so I can't stay will look for your reply in the morning, take care out there,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Lord Nelson!
Wolfe was on St Lawrence
a daring raid up the heights
I was there to see the plains of Abraham long ago
twenty to thirty minutes of history

They say he made that speech in moonlight before
they landed and hauled themselves and cannon
up the wall

Nelson was the one I was thinking of
and he put his bad eye to his looking glass
when they told him they were signalling him
to retreat at that battle

and he put it to his blind eye and said
"I dont see the signal"

guite the guy

Thank You!

author comment

This use to be one of our History lessons in England about the
The Battle of Quebec 1759 where they scaled the Heights of Abraham, one of those school day pieces that they don't teach so much now as they seem to think it would upset other countries lol.
The continued erosion of the way we evolved, to where we are today as a nation.
History should br written by both sides every time then the reader can make up their own minds, Take care Young Man, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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