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run... (by: eddy styx) updated

run...
go on and run!

don't just stand there,
frozen in place
decked out obscenely,
in velvet and lace.

a knife to your throat
will silence your screams,
and put to an end
all your feminine dreams!

you set out to tease
and tempt the wrong guy,
with teeth like pearls
and short breathy sighs!

your breath comes in gasps
eyes widen in fear
as panic grasps you
my intentions are clear

so die,
go on and die...

it's your turn
to bleed out your lust
die, you shall
as all living things must!

I watch your eyes dim,
under pale moonlight
as you leave behind,
and face your last night.

I can't help but envy
what you must be seeing
a monster without pity,
not a human being!

you should thank me
for taking your life,
with your "essence of beauty"
on my bloody knife!

*eddy styx is my malevolent, male alter ego who writes dark poetry.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Explicit Content

Comments

how charming, is it about me? lol well you do scare me half to death with your imagery it sertainely feels like you are talking to me.

Hey i know you will want to stab me for pointing it out coz i know you dont care but this stanza

it's your turn
to bled out your lust
die, you shall
as all living things must! -----is there an (e) missing (to bleed out your lust) ? Just asking don't put me on your list please
eddie stix you have become more mean through the years which is why i keep my eyes upon you. excellent work, i so enjoy your mind, although i will not walk alone in the dark whilste i know you are on the prowl.

Thank you...Teddy

you are delicious! i always can count on you for an amusing comment. and i love to read them! i really do appreciate your thoughtful responses ;) you could never be such a bad girl to get my *special attention, lol the world is a better place because you are in it!

ever, eddy
& the cat
-

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

from start to finish it held me captive for two reasons
a) smooth flow of the poem
b) the gut wrenching ways of your alter ego described vividly

I wonder how you feel after getting done with such poems....surely for portraying him the way he is must be satisfying but does it also help in some way?

the choice of words is exceptional which creates horror

i will try to get revenge of Eddie Styx by trying a hand at dark poetry :)

be well..

raj (sublime_ocean)

i can't wait to see what you do with your dark poetry! give your alter ego a name worthy of chills and thrills, as it sets the mood! i'm so glad that this poem caught your attention...thanks for the thoughtful comment!

ever, eddy

hello raj,
eddy styx was born from a traumatic childhood. and a very short one.many things were involved in the creation of eddy who balances on the razor's edge of insanity. instead of hurting people, I put "my rage on the page!" thanks so very much for your interest and concern,

love, Cat (or as "eddy" calls me: "the cat")
-

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Hi Cat, I agree with the other commentators. It's scary and seems to be directed at me! It also reminds me of Dracula characters, but I guess eddie's personality is different, as he's styx.
This series of poems is breath taking. No nits, the title, content and pacing are fine. Bring on more! I'm running away, fast...Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

thank you for such an enthusiastic comment :) it is greatly appreciated! it is good to know that i have written something of interest and effect!

ever, eddy

Gracy,
you darling, you have made my day!
*hugs, the cat
-

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment
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