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Rumours

Rumours

see that girl,
keep your distance
she's a strange one
see her eyes?
she looks groggy
must be the drugs
her mother says
she's stoned
all of the time...
she's a bad one
don't let her in
she'll steal your jewels
anything not nailed down.
she's a congenital liar
can't believe a word
out of her mouth
mention her father
who's constantly drunk
her temper will explode
yes, she becomes unhinged,
best to avoid her
hey, pass this on!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I believe this is a sequel to Just a dream. The title is an accusation, more of a denigration of the central character. No love, no warmth or friendship coming her way.

Sending you loads of roses and smiles to sooth your pains.

you are so right, and I hope this is the last of this frame of mind from me. I was told to write it out, now I have, and I'm exhausted. thank you for hanging with me!

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

except the spelling of your title! ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

I hate that title!!! and I am the worst about spelling! can you suggest something better for a title? please???

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

The rumour ?

Obi.

that is perfect!

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

That made them a real reputation and a ton of cash. And, yes, I’m showing my age here…. The album came out in 1977.

I agree Cat, a different title would suit your piece better.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rumours_(album)

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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I know the album! thanks for reading.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

I sense a play or a film in here. So much raw emotion within the verses, I would like to know more on the girl's history...

it is a very long and painful history starting before my birth. If you really want to read it I would be happy to tell you through a p.m. (private message) p.m. me and let me know.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
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