It's really rather humorous,
in a whimsical sort of way
how, "work on my Ibs" sounds like an exercise program,
"Wow, workout only ten minutes a day!"

But, It's neither ibs, nor abs, that I'm addressing here,
it's my irritable bowel syndrome sounds,
that pre-fart situational audio
that's more embarrassing by leaps, and bounds.

The best way that I can describe it,
it's the sound of the Indy five hundred;
First, there's this continuous,low cycle drone;
that sounds like, on walrus you've fed!

Then, the squeal of the cars' tires start whining
and, peeling rubber echoes throughout my abdomen
Then, the crowds' roar shoots through my spastic colon
and, I wish this sudden soundtract would just end.

Right now, I'm using many layers of clothing
to cover up the sound, "Hey! ,at least I try!"
Otherwise I'm off to the drug store
to figure out how many ear-plugs, I must buy!