My pleasure you've used my suggestion.
It's the weekend here, so more a family time but I'll come to this tomorrow morning if God wishes.
Till this time I'd like to know which sonnet form are you following here, Shakespearian, Elizabithian...etc

Soooon.

I don't doubt the flow, but my humble experience with sonnets taught me that it is a VERY strict form. It has a strict syllable count and that's why you won't find many sonnets written.

Autumn| harsh an| omen|carried   
 L ively| growth claws| out through| green grass|
 earth grows| armour |we have| buried
 for win|ter's screech| and snow| y brass|

There a|bove you | see the| meaning|
 and feel |the va|cancy| of freeze|
 words su|ggest but| go care|ening  ....caring maybe? 
 What be|tter use| have we| for these?|

 This is how I parse the first two stanzas where the feet should go like (de Dum|de DUM| de DUM | de DUMI de DUM) I wanted to do all the stanzas but for a reason the 'advanced formating' stopped working. I can go however and do them if you want to sometime later . The syllable count also doesn't fit the pentameter metrical feet which is also strict when it comes to the sonnets. I am sorry Ron, I didn't want to be mean. You've always been kind even when you give me a harsh critique.  I know how hard writing a sonnet could be. It is a real challange and as I see it, jess is very firm in this workshop. He wants to see every one challanging himself/herself . I suggest therefore, that you add two more lines at the end and make it  tetrameter quatrains as also been suggested as a form for this concept in the workshop page. I really like the idea and you've put it really well, so why don't you do it in quatrains?

I might be wrong here or there as I don't fully depend on my ear all the time (though as a skill, it's been developed better lately) so, jess might have another opinion.

At least you tried this form as to me I might this weekend if I have a spare ten minutes or so but old classic forms fail my ways, its all this De dum's etc that just flow past my head without entry permits, Like trying to get into Australia with a packet of seed lol.
I know what I will do with this one I have a fiendish shredder that checks syllables I shall test it now..
Ah! The answer has arrived it says:- 8 8 8 9 - 8 8 7 8 - 8 8 7 8 - 8 8 now to me that is as near perfect as I is lol:-

for winter screech's snowy brass
As words suggest but go careening
for reasons known when our poets speak

There you go now, I feel perfection, but now is it DUM Dum enough..
You see me and form are a hard mix, and it at my age is just a very hard task..
Go well my friend and great to walk with you in the quiet of our minds, Yours Ian.T

however it flows ok and works well conceptually.

I won't attempt to parse it, mykeyboard is playing up.

Great imagery. I did stumble in a spot, maybe two, but really didn't care. Imagined those lines to be somewhat like mine when the rythm reads correctly in my head.

But as far as rhythm, feet, meter, syllable count, I am as ignorant as they come. Hope that there is more detailed conversation on the subject (hint, hint).

thanks for posting as I often find your work to be a benchmark that I will continue to strive for but never achieve.

and as I close, I just wanted to check and see if I used enough buts in my entry. If not, may I say but one more time. Dam it must be late.

Scott

it might finally help me get out of my critiquing slump.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0P3UpekhGcx

What everyone, including me, failed to mention is that this is a brilliant and bloody lovely poem. It really expresses Rula's concept in powerful, emotionally connecting form.