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The Ruby Necklace

He spat her name out
as if something vile on his tongue
then just as quickly
begged her forgiveness

How dare she forget him
not even cold in his grave
and wed to another

The image of the ruby necklace
around her throat
her slender soft throat
burned in his memory

Ah what might that be
coming through the shadows
a pretty young lass
I shall sate my anger

Pouncing upon her
as a cat would attack it's prey
he smothered her in death's kisses
she cringed from the stench
of a rotting corpse

Fowl tongue tasting her throat
steel cold nails
raking her skin

She need not have to
suffer much longer
drawing the blade from ear to ear
his was ecstasy beholding the blood
pouring from her wound
much like the ruby necklace

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
This is an excerpt from my newest manuscript Leaving Daylight
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I like it! Only crit. is that [fowl] should be [foul]. Make sure that you send me a transcript to read! ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

thank you agggggg I can't believe I just did that

Chrys

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author comment

thanks for the read and suggestion

Chrys

check out our chat room open to all 24/7

author comment

I love it and it resonated with eddy styx, too. Great title, which resurfaces at the end of the poem! the angle that this is written by someone who has passed from this life and takes his revenge from beyond the grave, is deliciously chilling! it feels like "just desserts". I think it is perfect as it is, I would not change a word of it. I wish I had written it ;)

*always, Cat

p.s.
thank you for directing me to this!

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thank you. I was sure you would like this one

Chrys

check out our chat room open to all 24/7

author comment

I nominated it!

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thank You !

Chrys

check out our chat room open to all 24/7

author comment
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