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RoseBlack

Sable wisps of clouds
Draped across a full moon sky
Shallow breaths echo
Against the silence of the trees

Her ebony boots crunched down
On the earth below
Not much further
Until….

Did you think you could escape me
You useless little witch
I bid you do my cooking, my cleaning
Satisfy me in bed without a hitch

She shook her raven head with recalcitrant fervor
I’m sorry, Wolf
I think you have me confused
With my sister Red

The wolf stood stunned
As she drew her sword
His lip curled in a snarl
How dare you defy your Master

He let out a howl
One that would be his last
As she pushed the sword
Deep into his chest

Cleaning her blade,
She grinned with a mischievous twitch
Foolish wolf, I was never your bitch
In case you were wondering…

My name is RoseBlack

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Love that twist at the end how about recalcitrant fervor, might make that sound more finished,just a suggestion

Chrys

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Thank you for your input. I do like the sound of that. Thank yoyou for the suggestion.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

the slave! I like the fact that in all of the poem; you never use the word [black], only sable, ebony and raven. Giving the three variations of black that conjure up visions of different animals that are black. Nice job on the twisted ending. Wouldn't change a thing. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

This color challenge has been fun thus far. I didn't realize how many different words there are for each color and how each one gives a different feeling. Thank you for your praise.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

your language usage is excellent, you have combined in a way such as to entrance the reader. this is the kind of energy that stirs the blood! i think you should enter it in poet of the week! it is that good.
I was holding my breath during your escape, if felt my heart thud, when he caught up to you! but you stood with confidence and put him away:

Cleaning her blade,
She grinned with a mischievous twitch
Foolish wolf, I was never your bitch
In case you were wondering…

My name is RoseBlack
and I love this affirmation!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Perhaps I will enter it this week. Thank you for your insight as always. I am glad you enjoyed it. I have been having a bit of fun with words and it seems to be working.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

As if I was reading Candlewitch poetry!. Sometimes Cat writes this type of poetry.

This sounds like a confrontational poetry!
Its an unsettling feeling to be the only one to think of something. Especially if you're surrounded by people who were minding thier own business until you had to think outloud. Now, one by one, they all start staring. Sencing something foreign. Not a single one them knows exactly how they feel about what you think.

And the one and only difference between people is that there will always be those people who never think about anything thing at all. Their entire lifetimes the thing that matters is how they feel. That’s where the crack in the world opens up.

Excellent piece!

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

I think you are spot on in your analysis of people as a whole. There are always those who only see their own needs as what matters and they surely do cause cracks not only In those closest to them but in society.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

This is my favorite work you’ve posted. Without question. I’m Irish Viking heritage. Wolf, Full moon, ravens. Sound like my pagan pantheon.

Superb.
Tim

I am also Viking heritage...I am all about wolves and ravens and pagan culture. Most of my ethnicity is Viking. there will be more to come.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

see...I told you that you could do it! congratulations and salutations!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

It is really nice to be a part of such a fine group of writers.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

on your win! Nicely done! ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

:)

~RoseBlack~

author comment

This was a super fun one. I wanted to share this with my sister if that’s ok. She likes the darker side. Excellent job.

Tim

I am honored you would like to share this with your sister. Please feel free to check out some of my other darker works

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Hearty congratulations!!!
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

Thank you Jack

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Good night !

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

Good night !
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

RoseBlack this poem was beautifully penned. It held my interest. Excellent job.

Candice Vitalien
"Keep glowing even if no one can see your light.
For among the hidden stars on the darkest night
Someone will look up and behold
The flickering hope; words untold;
Strength and Honour my Warriors! "

For your kind words. I am glad you enjoyed.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

BLACK IS A COLOR
then I was BLANK

sable raven and ebony
are added
by Gee

Congrats for ur win

Glad you enjoyed

~RoseBlack~

author comment

of course good is good
BLACK=WHITE
in poetic sight

I knew you were dark x

There are others...

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Rose, getting bolder, I like it. My only suggestions with this is that you could lose several words to tighten it, make the menace more, not sure of the word I'm looking for, Direct? no. I preferred your last work, the menace flowed there. Alex

This is an older one. I appreciate your feedback and will give this another look.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Yes I see the same

This really held my attention. Great use
of vocabulary and congratulations on your
win!

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

Glad this got your attention. Thank you for the read and comments.

~RoseBlack~

author comment
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