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A Rose By Any Other Name - ( Joint effort by Stan and Mand )

F = Father
M = Mother
B = Baby
D = Daughter

I am the mayor mister clump
and don't forget the mister
lest I give your ears a thump
thus raising a blood blister.

I am the lovely Mrs Clump
with red hot womanly wiles.
Hubby thinks that I'm top trump
'til he sees my ghastly piles.

Goo, goo, goo, goo
baby boy.
Just learning a few words,
smiles are not always for joy!

I might be a teenager,
a girl who's rather small
but I've got attitude
and I super hate you all.

We all shall celebrate today,
I got a well deserved promotion.
So we'll all dress up, then on our way
you can all show your devotion.

Oh can we go to Mac-y-dees?
We can eat their burgers by the ton
and baby Goo goo likes the cheese
that they insert inside the bun.

Oh boy some hot Micky french fries?
Plus cheesy buns and a soft drink
mommy, mommy google goo
I'll fill myself up to the brink!

What! Me go with you to Mac-y's
I'm on a diet don't you know!
Besides you're all embarrassing,
do I really have to go?

So in the car and down the road,
to the arches we will go
where we'll All eat a big load,
the bratty daughter also.

Just smell that gorgeous scrumptious smell
it gets the juices flowing.
One more burger – what the hell
my appetite is growing!

Burp and drool then eat some more
drink all the soda that I can,
drop lots of food on the tile floor
then mess my diaper 'cause I can.

Oh my god, I'm not with you
Dad! Tell them to stop being rude
look at the way they're eating
they're putting me off my food!

Hush your mouth child, I'm the boss
so they can eat to hearts content
and even ask for extra sauce,
this ain't the time for you to vent.

I must agree with daddy dear
let rip those slobber, sucky slurps
enjoy yourself and have no fear
Oops – now I think I've got the burps!

Hi mommy I feel funny
but I can't eat another bite
burp, burp, burp, aren't burps funny?
Next is the movies, ain't that right?

Well come on then! It's time to go
thank goodness it's not too far
'cos I'm feeling somewhat squashed
in this poky little old car!

Being the head of the household
the decision lies with me
so being both pompous and bold
I'll choose the movie and all will agree!

What would you like to see darling?
The decision of course is yours
Oh can we go see “The smoking”
I've heard that it gets great applause!

Mommy when will we get there?
It's time to change my pants
but we could do that anywhere
that's void of fire ants.

La la, I love this I phone
boom, bang...”I'll drive all night”..
Did somebody say something?
“these jeans are to tight....”

We're all in the movie show
and the place is full
I feel my belly start to grow
answering the gastric pull.

I too feel that gurgling,
that rumble in my tum,
the pressure is not equalling
and my butt is feeling numb!

Burp and poot
burp and poot
the fact we over ate
is turning kinda moot.

This poor gent sitting next to me
he's looking quite aghast
he's sitting stiff and ridged
from the stench that I just passed!

Now the movie's getting good
but stomach's rolling, getting loud,
must have been something in the food,
I wish I wasn't in a crowd.

I really love this movie show
but I think we've got some troubles
I for one will have to go
and Goo Goo's burping bubbles.

I sound like a whoopee cushion,
or a wet bugle
as I mess my diaper without pushin'
phhtt..phhhtttt google, google.

I wish I wasn't wedged in here
my bottom feels like dough
and I'm among this well dressed crowd
when I'm about to blow!

There's no doubt we need to leave
through this crowd that's packed so tight
( before we make it hard to breathe )
we stumble about in the low light.

I seem to have a rumble gut
because of Mac-y's fries
Oops there goes a buttock phutt
I do apologise!

I smile, I've left a little gift
in a diaper now dropping
and neighbours now form a little rift
trying to escape my pooping.

Oh dear! I need the exit door,
my tummies brewing yeast
excuse me sir, please let me through
before it's all released.

OMG I spread my legs
to step past another guy.
His forgiveness I need to beg
for releasing an anal sigh!

Goodness me! What in the world,
I've let it rip – at last.
But baby Goo, Goo's hair has curled
in the mighty, stinky blast.

You know what smiling babies mean!
I've already done my thing
making patrons turn light green,
while I smile and quietly sing!

Phew! It's good we're all outside
away from all that choking
No sir, Nooo, don't go in there
that billboard says no …....!**

We interrupt this program for breaking news!

In our fair town today
a movie theatre was blown away
apparently a gas explosion
killed all but one family chosen
who when asked about the gas leak
blushed deeply from bust to cheek.
Film will come here at eleven
of rubble and patrons sent to heaven!

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Co- author = Scribbler ( Stan )
Editing stage: 


I was about to comment on some of the verses, think its too long but I think what the hell, this is for fun. Good one. I'm quite in a good mood today in spite of the pain. The local malay paper is going to send me another cheque. They've published another one of my malay poem in their paper, making it twice within one and a half month. that's a record even for me! YIPPEEE!!


First congrats on getting another poem published! And yes this is a bit on the long side but when Mandy and I got done we could't decide anywhere to cut it. But like you say it was all for fun.

When you become a rich and famous malay poet I hope you'll still drop bt and visit us here lol.........stan

lol. actually I'm more excited to be heard. thought I'm abit rusty on it but they proved me wrong.


You mean there's little money in poetry??!!! What a shock lmao. But you at least have the right attitude in that you write for fun and to share.......stan

is a relief but the greater reward is that I am able to deliver my message. emm, fun? well, its that and serious as well as it IS a fight to uphold the language in poetry form and tradition. people nowadays think its only for the older generation, whih is kinda sad.


You must feel over the moon - I hope it goes along way to offsetting any pain you're in! It's amazing how a lift in spirits can help a little. :) I'm happy for you!! :) xxxxx

We had a Gas writing this - didn't we Stan!!

Thanks for calling in Alid - muchly appreciated!

Love Mand xxxx

author comment

I'm happy that I still got it. Writing malay poetry to me is like signing up for a fight to uphold the language in its artistic and beautiful form. It is almost a dying art and if we don't fight for it then our malay youths might lose their appreciation for it. Worse still they might not be able to speak it well. I'm not saying one shouldn't learn other language but there's a malay saying which goes like this - Language reveals the race. Its an acknowledgement that language is part of the identity of a race.
Wish me luck in this fight.


are following in the foot steps of Robert Burns who wrote in a dying dialect......stan

Gotta check him out. The Malay language comes in many dialects because of the sector in the race. my dialect is "Boyan" or "bawean" used by boyanese ( I'm not well-versed in it because the malays here usually speak the modern malay), there are others like bugis, javanese or "jawa" but when you are talking about malay poetry the language used is the one commonly spoken by malays for chinese, the modern revised one is mandarin, for us it is simply called "Bahasa Melayu" or " Malay Language". In truth its the art, that is dying and if we are not careful, it will also be the language.


did you forget to comment on our friends' joint effort.?


Nice of you to drop by to make a comment. :) I hope all is well with you!

Keep safe

Love Mand xxxx

author comment

Which was which, or was there a switch
This was swell and a gas leak as well
Can't stay, but must say, this was the best Today,
Yours, Ian

Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

who wrote what but maybe you can trick Mandy into doing so lol. I DO consider it quite a compliment to both of us that you can't tell though...............stan

I wonder if Susan knows about your shift in identities, I am sure that apart from being M there was an inkling of a second childhood there I wonder rotflmao, Yours Ian

Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Me - leak that kind of information! - it would be to explosive! Lol

Now I'm being silly ( Shhh - definitely a second child hood ) Lol

Nice to see you Ian. :)

Love to you :)

Mand xxxx

author comment

nough praised
now mine do graze
sparrow what Ian man
now iron mannnn
or isle of Man!

I didn't really laugh. In fact, I thought it OK, but I'm a little tired of fart jokes, I'm afraid
Well done, however, in keeping the write smooth and sounding as if one person wrote the lot
love judy

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Great to see you and I hope all is well with you. This is the first poem I've ever done with a co-author so that was a new experience for me. :) ( which I thoroughly enjoyed - thanks Stan ). I must admit the whole thing was great fun - I haven't laughed so much in years - but humour seems to be in the eye of the beholder - and this kind of humour works for some and not for others. :)

It was great that you took the time to read and comment! Muchly appreciated my friend!

( no more farting poems for awhile I promise ) te he

Love Mand xxxx

author comment

Great work, great humour, great fun, well done the pair of you. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Thank's Roscoe :) Stan was a great partner!

Got any more in the pipe works Stan? Lol

Seriously - your visit and comment is muchly appreciated - glad it gave you a smile. :)

Love Mand xxx

author comment

I like it.
One suggestion.

"thank goodness it's not to far".
The word "to" in this instance should be "too".

"Too" means to a higher degree than is desirable, permissible, or possible; excessively."

"To" is used for expressing motion or direction toward a point, person, place, or thing approached and reached, as opposed to from):
"They came to the house."

Let me tell you that I loved the length. Seldom do poets here write long poems (except me).
The poem is a little crass, but that's the point I assume.
Now, other than some meter problems (from my point of view) the poem is delightfully humorous.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program

Thanks for pointing out the mistake - ( I keep making that mistake - your explanation was great though so will try and let it sink in )

What can I say - it is crass, but I laugh my head off every time I read it. :) Lol

Our joint effort was limited to approx. 3 hours a day, due to a nine hour - ish difference in our time zones - ( assuming nothing untoward made an interruption ). So working on meter may have been very lengthy - you never know perhaps we'll do that one day. Eh Stan!!

Anyway glad you enjoyed it - if it made just one person smile I'm happy.

Thanks Wes - nice of you to read and of course comment. :)

Love Mand xxxx

author comment

I hesitated in writing such a crude poem due to my partner in crime being so proper and sensitive.........

aah ha ha;ha :)

author comment
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