Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Up On The Roof

UP ON THE ROOF

I can lay there in bed and look at the stars
My roof has a hole where the rain comes in
After two years my patience is wearing thin
But at least my phone signal has four bars

It’s a dangerous climb to fix missing slates
A temporary fix was to patch with tarpaulin
But lost when the stormy winds came calling
Dare I skip another year and tempt the fates

I’ve asked around for a roofer to call
As yet, no takers and I can’t think why
Up there maybe they think they can fly
But mostly it’s a risk that they might fall

I’ve got a ladder that’s missing a single rung
A scaffold, surely I shouldn’t need to erect
For such a minor roofing fault to correct
In time, will a tale be told or even sung

Not sure how I made it but I’m here now
The slates are replaced, a job well done
This roofing business is just work, not fun
As good a job as my finances would allow

Since then I’ve got a passion for this work
Soon it might even be tall skyscrapers
As I had a publicity photo in the papers
And getting danger money is a real perk

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

on this, is to rearrange the lines to rhyme alternately, instead of the present arrangement. If you read it aloud, you will see why. I think that there are other changes to be made, but that is just a matter of shortening up the lines by getting rid of some words. All-in-all, I like the theme and the tone of a little amusement. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I enjoyed the story and can imagine looking through the hole in the roof and the overall frustration of home repairs. Nice job.

~RoseBlack~

A unique, creative rhyme pattern, and a very different approach to the theme. Clever storytelling!
L

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.