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Romance In The Night

Submitted by alidzain on Thu, 2016-09-01 12:02

As the song of the crickets greets the night,
a gentle breeze caresses the land
and leaves rustle on trees under moonlight
while a lovers' kiss blooms in romance.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

Vivovon

Thu, 2016-09-01 15:40

Well, I still remember "Mandolins in the moonlight."
"As time goes by" " The world will always welcome lovers", some quotes from "Casablanca" (1942).

xxxxx

alidzain

Fri, 2016-09-02 14:45

alidzain's picture

Thanks for the visit, the read and comment.

Alid

author comment

lovedly

Thu, 2016-09-01 21:03

lovedly's picture

a lover need not wait....
for the moon
nor night's cold breeze
his lips at any time
on his lover's lips
can freeze
ask any lover
if you please
love is no ailment
nor disease
it only helps one
love increase

alidzain

Fri, 2016-09-02 14:46

alidzain's picture

good one.

Alid

author comment

lovedly

Fri, 2016-09-02 18:07

lovedly's picture

but if you read my Father one
you will say

better well done

alidzain

Sat, 2016-09-03 16:39

alidzain's picture

Now it sounds better.

Alid

author comment
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