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riviera of lively sojourn

Submitted by lovedly on Tue, 2015-10-13 21:14

riviera of lively sojourn

river of benevolence......
I compare one’s whole life...
to a River
as it emanates as forest dew drops......
then enlarges to bigger ones...
and
falls as a waterfall...
and
with the kinetic energy gained
and
with the momentum
gushes forth at break neck speed...
then meanders....
cuts corners...
erodes...
strikes boulders
and
gradually slows down...
till at the estuary
it splits into tributaries...
tired as it merges
back into the sea or ocean...of no return
as a non entity
one of no return...
simply merge to once again
someday as clouds emerge
to form and bring about
Petrichor!

What more!

riviera of lively sojourn

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

weirdelf

Wed, 2015-10-14 23:38

weirdelf's picture
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neither sufficiently scientific nor emotional/metaphoric.
Sorry, my dear, not one of your gems.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

lovedly

Thu, 2015-10-15 12:54

lovedly's picture

I would be no poet
but a Gems factory
for kids
and
say come eat me
and that's all to my gemery
Jessy

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