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RITES OF PASSAGE edit

Submitted by Geremia on Wed, 2016-03-30 14:43

RITES OF PASSAGE

M y spirit wants to soar
with broken wings
and my body of stone
yearns to move again.
my days are black and grey,
colorless and faded rainbows;
cold rains that strike my soul.
there is no hope in my heart,
and I pray for annihilation.
but there is yet more to come
before it is done.

Richard for Joe

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

lovedly

Wed, 2016-03-30 15:36

I was wondering all my while

Where has had Joe gone
even Richards
did not say a word for so long
glad Joe is still going along

All our good wishes
we were feeling sad
but now we are glad
you have come back
Joe

Esker

Wed, 2016-03-30 16:42

The Journey!

last lines fit well with the paragraphs
above..
"pray for annihilation..but there is
yet more to come, before it
is done"

excellent passage!
I almost got hit by a car
the other day and I was
alert..
watching it coming
that incredulous
moment
where most freeze
I lept out of the way
the driver aghast
I waved like I do this
every day!
but it could come
and does to people
young old
indifferent
just like that..
but to see the journey
as such..
U my friend are a brave
one!
and to keep expressing
your path
is exemplary of your
dedication to the craft
of poetry!