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The Reward of Rancor (TITLE WS final edit)

Lying on my bed,
the silence
is too loud,
ringing
in my head

Anger fades
out of sight
but in my heart
a stubborn pride
resides

Rising restlessness
my mind aches
from solace denied
by the sting of
malice

My soul is
a cracked mirror,
a distorted
self reflection
of self-loathing ,
blooming in colour

The lost truce invites the rule
of despair
when harmony and tranquility
die side by side
giving birth to
this unbearable
silence.....

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

An obvious title could be "Why Sleep Eludes"........stan

Now that's a very different one from the original title, the one which you gave.. lol. Interesting.

Alid

author comment

that there can be many more than one "right" title. But there can also be a lot of wrong ones too. The purpose of this shop is to merely get folks to put at least a modicum of thought into what they title their works.......stan

Or
"Fighting Pain"
So difficult to suggest a title for someone else.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Reckon that's because it's not always possible to discern exactly what a writer is trying to convey and a good title gives at least a hint of that........stan

It's close.

Alid

author comment

"Fighting the Beast"

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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"A Stubborn Pride Resides"

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

we'll see how this goes. Still haven't decide yet.

Alid

author comment

Heart Attack.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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the reward of rancor ??
the after-taste of bitterness ??

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

I vote for Judyanne.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

for the suggestions.

Alid

author comment

though not sure how it fits. The word rancor is new for me.
Thank you. I thought it is always good to learn new diction.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

I puts the reader on the path you chose. In fact, hatred usually Does harm the hater more than the hated.........stan

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