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Reverend Director IV...

Now a moment of revelation
Killer knows from whence he came
No remorse for his actions
There is just the payback game

For all the hurts that innocents suffer
He will give twice and more
Just as he gave to this one
Crawling slowly toward the door

The rage he feels is building
Uncle Michael is right here
Kill him now; but slowly
For his brother dear

The pain explodes inside his head
No relief is there in sight
Tears roll down his cold and stony face
He'll kill Uncle Mike again tonight

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

or just an oversight.
Regardless, it's coming right along. "He'll kill Uncle Mike again tonight." That is damn near a climax sort of line if it had a little bigger build up, but I'm not going to presume. As it progresses, I think a resolution will write itself. A return to "the" status quo, but not necessarily a new one. Don't tell me, just write it.
wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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an oversight. I've been feeling my way along on this. I haven't thought much about how to resolve it and come to a real climax. I think one more should do it though. ~ Gee

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author comment

I'm sure this is for the story workshop, just wanted you to know
that I've been reading and keeping up with your story. It's a graphic
sort of tale ehh ...

Yes it is for the workshop. I appreciate your reading and keeping up with the story. I think it is about to come to a very graphic ending. Stay tuned! ~ Gee

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