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Resting
i started resting
i began to fail
am use to speed
why am i slow now
i rather masturbate myself to sleep and fuck my dreams
i hate snails for what they stand for
God is not teaching me patience.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Barbara Writes
Wed, 2017-08-02 17:25
Hi
Interesting poetic theme
Tho your poem is simplistic in form and rhythm however descriptive image of resting is vague and subtle beneath your attitude of up with a God not answering your prayer. Keep writing and expressing your poetry
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
obidi ojochide
Tue, 2017-08-08 05:44
thank you for the review
thank you for the review babara, looking forward to hear or rather read more reviews from you.
author commentBarbara Writes
Tue, 2017-08-08 11:58
Hi
You're welcome
I'm looking forward to reading more from you
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
lovedly
Tue, 2017-08-08 14:15
music|photography|pharmacist|Leo|single|music|photography|pharma
music = lyrical
photography =love of nature
pharmy =treatment when needed
LEO =SEXY you openly have above stated.... msbt/fck
single =wrong place for invitation
flash fictions we can see
hopefully all will welcome thee
I keep my fingers crossed
reading ur first master's piece
goods of luck poet
to thee
soonly you will read me
as that is a requirement of this site only
obidi ojochide
Wed, 2017-08-09 07:23
thank u so much lovedly, that
thank u so much lovedly, that just a summary of who i am... thank u for creating time to acess my work... God bless u real good
author comment