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Respite

A new found silence
Has crept into my heart,
A need for distance that validates
Just being -
Apart.

A recoil from the intimacy,
That once stunned my soul
Shocked me into servitude
That said: "be patient"
Let go of control.

Now silence has restored
equanimity, once lost.
As yet, I'm too afraid to
go back, and count up
The cost.

NS. 10 OCT. 13

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Loved this short write of finding something that was not lost.
You were probably looking in the wrong place, no need to go back everything you need is there in front of you, just feel it..
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

what many poets have tried to express in volumes.

Forgive me if I mis-nterpret but I feel you are saying that betrayal in intimacy has taught you the value of solitude, with it's inherent fear.

technical crit:
That said"be patient" [missed the comma between said and "be patient"

One of my favourite aphorisms of poetry is that it is "elimination of the inessential"

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

Thank you once again for your comments and critique. Weirdelf, most appreciative and impressed that you would find this adequate. Poetically paltry, but works well as a catharsis. Once there has been a merger, there always needs to be backing away, to take stock. It is that counting up, that scares me!
Ian, once again, thanks!
NS

author comment

Love can be painful - taking stock will hopefully come with time. You are an eloquent and vivid writer, I love the language, passion and emotion you use - all said in honestly from the heart.

Love Mand xxxx

Thank you so much for your heartfelt compliment. The passions I can attest to. The emotions I am overwhelmed with, The language is a bonus!
Regards
NS

author comment

you say curtly what others go about round and round …I don't know what sheared the sheen… the shaft unclean…. and if I were you…. I'd have had the one guillotined …but then language is not what I command …tis love only I demand … for you to have a fair share …in this round world...but a bit too square I've found
Wonder if I make sense at all… in other words I'd say to him ...’’’GO TO HELL!

You are as simple as my ego is astound!!!

loved

Love it!
THanks
NS

author comment
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