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As the Leaf trembles when
Wind Blows
I tremble as his voice

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
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Last few words: 
Haiku I have found that the rules vary and 575 aren;t the only ways to express Japanese Poetry, but when it is too wordy or there are too many unnecessary words it does not reflect the authentic Japanese style. I want to say what I need to say without cramming too much into the thought. The phrase should be simple and to the point, expressing the essence of nature while also giving the reader insight into what is actually being expressed.
Editing stage: 


I like this. If you let me share with you the moment of trembling when hearing his voice, I would change "his" to "your".
And do you need to capitalize "blows"?

Thanks for sharing.


Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Like your assumed name this short crisp poem is truly about heart feelings. I liked Rula's suggestion about changing "his" to "your" in line 3

Since you are comparing the two tremblings, I feel it would work well if you replace "As" with "Like". This is because "As the leaf trembles" could also mean use of "as" like "while".....I hope you know what i mean..

Other than above i could sense the delicateness of the emotion and also find the title to be absolutely spot on.


raj (sublime_ocean)

thank you for taking the time to respond. Sometimes I understand the idea quickly, other times It takes a while to absorb the thought.

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