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REDEEM THIS LOVE

Remake

my beauty,

tear it apart,
torture me in Love’s tempest,
expunge my heart.

Deconstruct
this way of Being,
no form, no shape, no Art,
piece me back together,
a new creation’s start

Debase
my arrogance,
smash this pedestal of pride
dismantle my mainframe,
leave shame nowhere to hide.

Revel
in the Ugliness
of deeper, darker, longer
thrash me to enthrallment,
Samson, only stronger.

Batter
all images of ‘pretty’
beyond burnishing the mask -
embrace the revulsion,
infuse imperfection as a task.

Restore
this love to glory -
for it can never be,
unless you raid, plunder, ravish
all the ugliness in me.

BjR 4/11/10

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
this idea came to me along the lines of BATTER MY HEART THREE PERSON'D GOD - John Donne although mine has no religious undertones - the message is the same. Do yourself a favour - and read the original! It is spectacular! Herewith a link. Thanks Bonita j http://www.online-literature.com/yeats/863/

Comments

I think you have done a super job with this inspiration,
I agree I love John Donne too. He seems so sane in
spite of the religious undertones.

I enjoyed reading it and felt tossed along in its fervour.
Love Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

this poem right away! This a superb piece of poetry. Self-depreciation, without the ugliness of woe is me.
One could see this being written for a lover. Great work! ~ Geezer

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"Batter My Heart, Three-Person'd God" is my all-time favorite poem of Donne's; no need for a link, I have it in my library, and read it at least once a month.

I bow.

You have done it more than justice, with your poem.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

very powerful thoughts boni
i actually like yours better than john's (i've read his years past.... and recognised the influence before i saw your comment)
imho you have excelled here boni
love judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

I came back to this today with a renewed perspective. Perhaps it should stay within the realms of reaching out to a higher power, as John Donne's poem did. To love another person this much would be TOO MUCH... and hence self destructive! As with all addictions, we can only get perspective in hindsight!
Great to be back!

Bonitaj

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