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Red Pickup Truck

The red pickup flew past
the soldiering stop sign,
both of them primed
like blazing hot cherries.

One was screaming
to hit the brakes,
the other, recklessly
whooping it up,
trying to grab onto
all of life's
second chances.

In the wake of it all,
a couple of inspired crows
took flight as the
cling-clinga-
whip-whip-whipa-dip
of a spinning
hubcap came to rest
against the boot of the
yellow curb.
***

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
At the intersection...
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Those Smith Boys are at it again! Look at 'em, whizzing around town in their pa's truck while he's in the pokey for making shine! I guess the revenuers didn't git it all! You should put an [ess] on the end of the stop sign[s], as you have said [each] and a couple [of] inspired crows would make a fast getaway. Love this! Perfect cap to the end of my day! ~ Geez.
.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

I enjoyed your take on this! The "each" refers to both the truck and the sign sharing the same color, so since it's not clear, I may rework that first stanza. The "of" is noted, too! I really saw this happen earlier this past summer, and found it to be poem-worthy.
Thank you, again!
L

author comment

The red pickup flew past the
soldiering stop sign,
both of them primed
like blazing hot cherries.

BTW, I can hear that hubcap
careening across the street
and hitting the curb! Excellent!

~ Geez.
.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

...which I will gratefully use!
Thank you!
L

author comment

I can see it in my mind as clearly as you must have seen it that day! Nice job! ~ Geez.
.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

Hi L,

This is wonderful! I really enjoy poetry that can visually capture the briefest of moments with such excellent word usage - and sound effects too! The last stanza was my favorite - excellent piece!

Best

Michael Anthony

Thank you for reading. I always appreciate it when you drop by!
L

author comment

Always and forever wonderful craftsmanship,embracing the ink of the line, exhaling its breath and prostrating its jasmine flowers to it.

Excellent!
.

"Poetry is invariably imbued with a sense of calm and serenity".

~Jackweb

Thank you for your energetic and supportive comment!
L

author comment

I could see the truck speeding through the stop sign and hear the sound of the tires! Great job!

.

~RoseBlack~

Thank you for reading!
L

author comment

In music, this could have fit nicely into “music concret” -a style of music composition that incorporates realism integral to the heart of the piece. Your poem has such realism, and it is certainly integral to the piem. Very nicely done!

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Music concret...interesting! I had fun jotting this poem down, and Geezer helped me polish it!
Thank you very much!
L

author comment

did you know my old truck is red lol

There's nothing like and old red truck.
Thank you for reading!
L

author comment
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