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Rebirth

Deafening waves of blood
Pounding in my ears
The quiet noise
Sudden darkness fills my eyes
Rising on the flux of my panic
It was the clatter of my clutter
Flowing in rushing rivulets
Down the banks of my life’s stream
Washed to the brink
Of eternity’s open maw
The crash cart enters
Harshly inducing
My reentry into the now
Briefly dead
But now reborn
Giving me two birth dates

* Due to a stomach ulcer, an artery burst. I died and was revived. This is my first poem on this experience. Cat.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Comments

HI, welcome back , so glad your doing so well.

This poem really evokes what it must have felt like. great use of language, and all together emotional and frighteningly effective write.

much love LOU,

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I'm glad to have communicated my terrible but miraculous event. Thank you for understanding.

love, cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Hello to you too! Your wonderful poem has touched my heart. Thank you, more than I can say, I am in awe of your feelings and talent.

love, cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Cat,

I will leave comment for later as this is a very emotional write and even more emotional read for me. I remember this day and recall Steve's email to me.

For now, this piece is highly graphic and throws images at me that I can't yet comprehend. To think we lost you for a while...thankfully you now have a second birthday!

This poem also brings back recent emotions and actions that I have had in regards to Oliver, so you understand why I can't comment in detail yet.

Good comeback poem my dear friend.

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

I know you understand and can relate very well to this poem. It makes me sad that is so, yet I appreciate that understanding. Thank you so very much for being a friend to Steve when he needed one desperately. I know he thinks very kindly of you. I'm hoping that we all see better days. You light up my life...

Love, cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Cat,

I have today read this piece again and despite it's subject, I am coming to terms with the hand of cards you & I have been dealt and can now see this in its full light...or should that be dark. I guess it is a combination of dark and light...ending in light.

This is a raw write and one that only you could have written with your experience.

I know it is not a Styx piece, but I think it should be a 'outro' poem for the end of Styx book II.

Great write, gripping, emotional and image packed.

love

HS

--------------
Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
--------------
With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

cat hi , I can understand every word of this write
and its hard to read knowing what you have gone through
it's so so wonderful to have you back and reading you again has really
given me a lift, a second birthday and a new beginning, and how lovely is shirley's
poem for you ,,,,,,,,,,,chat soon my dear
your friend
zigs xxxxxxxxx

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

I knew you would understand. Thank you for being there for me, and for the book. I enjoyed it greatly and it is a prized possession because it came from you. Steve mailed the book of styx to you this morning. I was too late to have posted it last Saturday and I don't drive yet so I had to wait until today for him to send it. I hope you enjoy my dark poetry!

Love, cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

cat hi , I can understand every word of this write
and its hard to read knowing what you have gone through
it's so so wonderful to have you back and reading you again has really
given me a lift, a second birthday and a new beginning, and how lovely is shirley's
poem for you ,,,,,,,,,,,chat soon my dear
your friend
zigs xxxxxxxxx

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

Welcome back: it is so very good to see you.
Apart from the title, which I think could be better, there is noting to critique here at all. The cadence, flow, word use, beginning and ending, all are good - I particularly like the ending, it's a nice optimistic touch to finish with, a double celebration of birth.

On a personal note, I am struck to the point of shivers down my spine, how vividly this poem brings back my own heart attacks, the feelings they invoked, and the sensations they brought. Your description is right on the money, Cat, those are the sensations of dying, there's absolutely no doubt about it, for me.

Now...dare I ask, will we see a reincarnation of Eddie Styxx? I must admit that I have missed him, this past month or so.
An excellent first poem for the new Neopoet, Cat.
And again, it is so good to see you back.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

That sensation of dying... so hard to capture with words. I'm sorry that you have chanced to experience it for yourself. And I am glad that you are still here to share your wisdom with all of us here at neo. Thank you greatly for your critique of this poem. I agree that the title falls a little flat. I'll work on that.

(((hugs)))
cat

p.s.

Eddy Styx will be joining us soon with his dark poetry. He has missed Neo as much as I have! Thanks for asking!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

You sure were missed gal ... so good to see you back.

This poem would be good anyway, even without knowing
it was an actual event ... it felt real to me before I knew,
it is an actual shutdown of the body, you delivered it Cat !
"It was the clatter of my clutter" ... great line! so fitting for
the content.

I'm glad that crash cart came in, and you are so right on
with the descriptive "harshly induced" ...

I hope they took care of the ulcer while there ... nasty pain
that is.

Richard

This was my first poem after the event. I wasn't sure I could capture all the emotions and sensations, but I am happy with the finished product. Except for the title, but for now will have to do until I can think of a better one. Thank you for the warm welcome back. I will find out about the middle of December if the ulcer has to be surgically removed. Meanwhile I take medication to help heal it. It is sooooo good to hear from you!

love, cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

I sat to read this and I am so happy for you and thank the doctors that helped you in such a miraculous way. I am also very thankful and blessed to be graced with your words once again here. I so missed you, we all did and my prayers were going on for you and Hood simultaneously. I am happy for both of you and great to see you both back.

I think you did a wonderful job in this write of the feelings and the images you portray here going through so much at that time. Your poem is sensitive in nature but honestly given us an account of your rebirth. I so admire this write and your courage of strength. Keep up the wonderful work and take it slow.

Love you and missed you much
Mona
xoxo

Thank you so incredibly much for your caring response to my poem (and your private message.) It is so good to be here, in all senses of the word. I have missed you and my neo family very much.

Love, cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

I am so glad to be here! Thank you for your encouraging message here. I know you understand because we both have come very close to the edge of night. I am proud to call you friend and sister in poetry.

Love, cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Oh what an experience Cat, it sounds unreal
and as if it were a tale from some wild legend,
but you lived through it and we're glad you did,
as now you can recover and be new,
as you say.

I too with my Summer robbed from me
am new again,
we get up and try to shine with all we have,
before our time is up,
we know not when!

Thank you for writing a fine poem about it all,
and love from Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

We both have gone through bad experiences and come alive out the other side. My best wishes for a happy future go out to you. Thank you for your message.

Love, cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

I am pleased that you were able to follow the path of the phoenix. Clatter of my clutter is a wonderful line.....scribbler

I'm so glad to be back and that you liked that line!

(((hugs))) cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Fantastic imagery!

"Washed to the brink
Of eternity’s open maw"

Vividly descriptive. Good to see you back Cat! Your words are amazing I have missed reading your poetry.

Love Mand xxxxxx

I too have missed reading your poetry. It is so good to be back amongst my neo family. Thank you for the warm welcome.

Love, cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

love the lot, a very powerful write - but that last line is awesome.....

welcome back cat, so glad you didn't leave us yet.
i've missed you
love and hugs
judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

It is great to hear from you! I have a lot of catching up to do. See you soon.

Love cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

any better than anyone else that has said it. We are so glad to have you back! I just know that your rebirth will be the return of a part of our family that was sorely missed! A very moving piece of work! Thanks for sharing. Love ya, ~ Gee

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

Thank you so much for the warm welcome back! I look forward to reading both you and Killer again soon.

Love, cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

I came here to read your "other" poem, having delighted in the Styx one, but stayed on much after I had read your work to read the massive outpouring of love and concern expressed by others: this is indeed a wondrous fellowship and bond you folk have here.

As for your poem: I guess you already know that you have a real gem here... a beautifully expressed frightening experience with a happy ending.... and a new rebirth!

Psyve

Thank you for coming back to read my first poem. It was written from a true experience and was truly life altering and frightening. You are right, most of the people here are great. I have found several kindred spirits here, of which you are one. (and one lunatic, who was kicked off the site. I will be writing about her in the future) Thank you for reading and responding!

always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Sigh.

Two births. Then and now. Precious time reborn. Be well dear Cat. Eddy needs you. ;-)

~

Thank you, I think I need eddy as much as he needs me.

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

I was actually in heaven

for five minutes
lost in memory
some one had forecast
Ii'd come back
so i did...
yes it was a real rebirth
but i shall call it an awakening
only I was in the hills
under a machine
ripped apart
and
then the tree
held it
till I was apart

loved

That is quite a remarkable experience we have both had. I'm glad you are here on earth now. So I can enjoy your works!

always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

I like the fact that death gives clarity to life, it is to me a sort of rebirth into the "NOW" to me in reality what matters is how we live now. without waiting for some reward after death, which really may not be. living this moment is enough reward for me. Tomorrow may never come.
this is a excellent write, focusing on how we tend to take it all for granted, and only a crashcart jolt puts it in perpective.
Thanks for sharing this enlightment.

Eddi...

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

You are so right. Living in the moment is best. Although visiting precious memories is fine. We are who we are because of past happenings. Thank you!

always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

the past is a foundation, but is not who we are now. visiting memories is fine. as long as we realize that those moments are gone in the stream of time. to much visitation can throw us off course of the now and create sadness in the now for want of the past. I feel that there are some great things happen in the moment that we do not realize, because we are in it "NOW"
That is only my view and it has worked for me. I truly repect your view. only because it works for you.

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

I hope you have long recovered from this period in your life. Life it seems has use for you still also to give others hope after reading your poems

for your always sensitive and insightful comments. after this event, I had to relearn ho to do a lot of everyday things. I was dead, my heart stopped beating for a few minutes. but I still had poems in my head. I was in a rehab unit for a very long time. my caregivers said I was very quick and eager to learn (relearn)

xx, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

So sad how life treats the gentlest and kindest of people it's indiscriminate. Sorry for your suffering but I suppose these things make you stronger xxx

eddy styx, who puts his rage on the page instead of acting out!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment
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