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Reawakening

Hanging to a thread of sanity,
my heart was a broken glass,
leaking dreams of yesterday,
betrayed by fake friendship,
the noose around my neck.

I'm the shadow of my old self,
pierced by rays of harsh truth,
fading away into oblivion
along with the purpose of life
I once held.

I was falling apart,
a soul shredded,
discarded away from the memory
of the one I've lived for,
dying inside as I screamed
and wept a thousand tears.

Then I saw you,
your innocence is your radiance,
touching me,
saving me from the arms of despair.
My wounds were healed
by your presence,
You helped to make me whole again
and I felt the warmth of life,
seeping into me
like never before.

I thought it is over
when love had gone astray.
Now I know better.
It takes faith for a miracle
to come my way.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

is another man's miracle. When I ran an electronics workshop the motto I had posted on the wall was "The impossible we do right away, miracles take a little longer." As to the poem, it is well written but as for the content, no I can't believe that hanging one's own confidence and self respect on the shoulders of another is ever a good idea.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

Did I potray it that way? hmmm. This poem is about someone who was betrayed by his lover and fell into depression before someone help to recover from the experience. Totally fiction of course.lol. Any suggestions where I can improve in this poem, bro? I need help now and then as I usually write in Malay nowadays, not English.

Alid

author comment

maybe,
You helped to make me whole again
This returns the resposibility to yourself.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

Thanks for the suggestion, man!

Alid

author comment

As Kieth has illustrated this can be taken at least two ways. I took it as seeing a New girlfriend after being betrayed by the old one. I thinks it's a sign of good writing when a poem can be interpreted many different ways. I also noticed you used free verse in all but the last stanza. I assume you changed to reinforce the change in thought. If you want to reinforce it even more strongly you could used an ABAB rhyme pattern there. But you might want to leave it as is if you want to be gentler in your reinforcement. Enjoyed the read..........stan

Thanks for the visit, the read and the comment. (Smiling)

Alid

author comment

Well written!
I like it all, but maybe another title might work better to fit the piece? Don't know

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Not sure what other title name that will fit. Any ideas?

Alid

author comment

Rebirth
New hopes
Awakening
Reawakening

something along those lines should fit.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

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