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random contest #15 (4) It's Hard To Breathe

random contest topic (#4) It's Hard To Breathe

I Find It's Hard To breathe

when I see your morning face,
hair all tossed from sleep
I find it's hard to breathe.

whenever you speak my name
it sounds to me, like a poem,
I find it's hard to breathe.

when I hear you laugh
at some little thing I've said,
I find it's hard to breathe.

when you sit down beside me
taking my hands in yours,
I find it's hard to breathe.

whenever I hear your voice
so soft and low and mellow,
I find it's hard to breathe.

when you kiss me good night
softly upon my lips like a whisper
I Find it's ever so hard to breathe.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
written for Steven
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

A truly loving velum gentle romantic poem describing the gentile sentiments of a woman in love or how she wants to be in love

I thank you so very much. I stand in your debt.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

I am in agreement! A woman so in love with her mate! Not a bit ashamed to say it! Language use is great, and the R, P and P
good too! Of course the theme appeals to me, and the beginning and end slide smoothly together. ~ Hugs for the girl, ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

tell me, what is the R, P and P? thank you for the excellent critique, it is greatly appreciated! after near 40 (on June 27th) years of marriage I still feel that way. I know he feel's the same as he tells me everyday

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

Rhythm, pattern and pacing. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

I'll remember that!

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
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