Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Raindrops in a Shitstorm

Just when you think
It can't get any worse
It does

In the world we live in
It's a known fact, that
When one aspect of our life
Is fabulous
The other falls apart

Like
Old tissue
Put through a washing machine
By mistake

Like
When your trousers suddenly
Fall down round your ankles
With nowhere to go
But into a puddle
Left by last night's rain

Underwear you would prefer
Isn't on show
For the whole world to see
That's how it feels
Naked and vulnerable

That's what life is all about
Today, I am having one of those days
I wish I hadn't got out of bed
I haven't got anything
Happy on my mind
Just crappy emails
With nothing but bad news attached

I have hope tomorrow's emails
Will bring better news

For now, I’m just
Looking on the bright side
My knickers were new
And from
Last night's puddle
I got to feel the rain.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

You have touched upon a few things that
everyone can relate to. The bit about the tissue
through the washing machine, was only the beginning
and I laughed, but then came the part about losing
your trousers in the middle of nowhere to go
and them falling into the puddle! I know the feeling.
Not that it has ever happened to me, but I understood
right away, that feeling of being caught in a situation
where you are exposed and feeling like the whole world
is watching your struggle with something that you would
rather not have anyone see.[Maybe an unpopular opinion
or something deeply personal.] Then, a ray of hope!
That maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will be a better day.
And... in retrospect, maybe it wasn't quite as bad
as you first imagined; after all, your knickers were new
and you did get to feel the rain. I love this little tale
of the hidden, personal side of humanity. The part that says
Hey, I guess things could be worse. Well done! ~ Geez.
.

Announcing the new chatroom! I will be hosting a chatroom on Saturday nights
from 8pm until 9pm [EST] this coming Saturday. Stop in and
shoot the breeze with the Geez. Our Chatroom is open 24/7
.

You just get it always! I'm so glad it made you laugh, it's supposed to.
Thank you so much.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Yes, 'Tomorrow's emails will bring good tidings.' The theme and language quite relatable, and speak to the vulnerability that characterizes the entirety of life. It's a nice piece. Thanks for sharing.

Bathe yourself with poetry and let the world go to pieces.

I'm glad it's not just relatable to me.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

I too can relate to the tissue in the washing machine.
I am sure tomorrow will be a better day.
Cheer up dear friend.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

you cheer me up just being here. X
LOL it's just a moment and I'm glad it's made you laugh!

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Good one!! What is Teddy a nickname for, by the way? I thought it was Theodore, but now I see that you're a mother. Pardon me if this sounds stupid.

Emily A.

It's just a pen name that I love, I like to think of myself as cuddly lol. Yes I am a women, questions of any kind are never stupid. I'm glad you liked this, today has just been a bit off. We all them.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Hey, that's why poetry is there , right? To let all our shit out. That's what my dad should do instead of eating his feelings after dinner...it's always AFTER dinner, too, which is a weird time. I don't know, sorry, that's just been on my mind lately. Are you keeping your name under your hat, or can you tell me what it is? Thanks.

Emily A.

Another beauty Teddy. I was looking at the second stanza and well, you know me, Mister Variation [evil grin]

In the world we live in - In this world I live in
It's a known fact to me
when one aspect of my life
Is fabulous
the other falls apart

I make those changes because you continue to write in the first person the rest of the way down the poem.

The word shifter,
Mark
hahaha
all kidding aside and looking on the bright side ;~)
thanks for a great read...
Later..

THE MARK
Please comment anywhere anytime.

So glad to see you back and in form too, well i wanted to speak as (we) to share with everyone then I start complaining about myself lol I shall definately look at this though, thanks for your thoughts and the (evil grin) it's always welcome.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

you think that you've gotten problems Teddy. Spare a thought for the poor Yorkshire farmer ~ but everything will come ok in the end.

The farmer in the farmyard
One morning tripped and fell.
He landed in the pig trough
And blimey!  what a smell.

He stepped into the farmhouse
His wife told him  "Get out!"

He turned around and sqelchied off
As after him she'd shout.

He wandered in the cowshed
To take his cows some hay
They raised their noses in the air
And wouldn't let him stay.

He went back to the pig sty
To give his pigs a treat
They said  "What perfume do you wear?
You smell so very sweet.

 

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

LoL you're very welcome to my pitty party, your poem has cheered me up emmencly.
Always a pleasure.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.