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Rain and You (Sonnet No. 2)

~ RAIN AND YOU (Sonnet No. 2) ~
From a Trilogy of English Sonnets

Scattered rain clouds have given up their hail
They, slowly moving on to pastures new;
I, looking up skyward to watch them sail
Upon the drab, grey sky with hints of blue.

I wonder now if you're watching as well,
Spectating in awe, seeing what I see.
Then how would I know? no way I could tell
If you see the wondrous daylight with me.

The sun blooming bright, shines, dazzles the day;
It's warmth is spread about the greenery.
Dreams of you not so very far away,
You, in my mind, you'll be the scenery.

With sunshine daydreams and sunlight burning
Spin my thoughts forever ~ wildly turning.

ASJ

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
The second of a trilogy of English sonnets. Please enjoy.
Editing stage: 

Comments

is good, as is your language. The theme is one of romanticism and although there are many that are not fond of it as a topic, I feel that sonnets were made for it. Not being a sonnet person, [ they are mostly too complicated for me], I have not counted the syllables and meter. I'll leave that for another.
It flowed well from beginning to end and the logic is consistent. ~ Geezer.
.

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Hope that I got your name correct. Your comms are greatly appreciated by me. Sonnets can be difficult as there are so many rules. Most sonnets are romantic's although I have done some about nature etc. I hope you like the trilogy format and take time to read the other two. The poems in this series are English sonnets although I have written other disciplines. I also write sonnets with a more
free style which I call 'loose sonnets', being somewhat easier to write and read. I like to make this type gently humorous if I can.

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Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
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author comment

is Geezer for the name. There are a few that call me Guy here, but I tolerate it from them, because I am a nice [guy]. LoL Gee is reserved for those who know me best and longest. I will be looking for those sonnets. I do read them, I just don't do them often.
.

Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

Kind of you to put me wise. I am but a simple Yorkshire man from Olde England although I have visited your beautiful country many times. Mr. Shakespeare was but a simple Warwickshire man but eventually made good, therefore I sometimes copy his style when I 'do' sonnets.
I hope to read more of your work as I progress with the neopoet site and so until then best wishes for the season and new year.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
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author comment

aren't english sonnetts written using iambic pentameter? i am not seeing this here. i am in usa. i know we pronounce words with different accents in different places.

Iambic pentameter is a guideline for English sonnets. People have come to judge sonnets these days as poems written 'as did Shakespeare'. If you mention the word sonnet most people say (or at least think) his name.
Shakespeare wrote his plays using iambic pentameter. One of his most famous lines (Hamlet) is 'To be or not to be, that is the question'. Eleven syllables ~ 2 stressed syllables together ~ 'be, that' and 2 unstressed syllables together ~ 'ques-tion'. Necessity rules.
(His 'Sonnet 145' uses iambic tetrameter)

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

author comment
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