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In the rain
Jude kyrie Poems
In the rain
Do you remember my darling
we were just children way back then.
we played in the summer rain.
Dancing in puddles.
Splashing in colored rubber boots.
Drenched with happiness
in the summer rain.
I think that's when
I first fell in love with you.
I knew even back then
we would marry one day.
Remember we always
loved walking in the rain.
The olive green days
of our life my love.
You, Me, the rain.
Then when the sickness came
you tried to hide it from me.
but I knew ...I knew.....I Knew……
It was too strong for the
rain to wash away.
I remember that last day
my love.
you asked me is it raining?
I said yes my love.
It's rained all day.
Take me outside you whispered.
Dance with me in the rain
just one last time.
I carried you out to the garden
we danced in the rain.
Now when I feel
lonely and sad.
and missing you is just
too hard for me to bear.
I stand in the pouring rain
and I can feel you close to me.
And the gentle pure rain
washes away my tears.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
ahh the sadness
of lost love
Jude
Editing stage:
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Comments
raj
Tue, 2018-11-20 05:32
Hi Jude
Welcome to Neopoet. Your poem is very vivid and pretty touching. Reminds me of a popular line "no one sees my tears in the rain" but in this poem they are seen and felt.
Make sure you comment / critique other's posts since Neopoet is a workshop site where criticism is welcome.
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raj (sublime_ocean)
chevyvent
Tue, 2018-11-20 14:21
Very good work
Would i trade the words to stand alone,
and be a poet whose words stand in stone
Would i trade words to keep me in verse and rythme
For all time
Would i trade the words to flip sonnet and lyre on the toss of a dime
Yes i would trade words for sure to make it certain my words endure
Yes id trade words that keep my words in place and bring a smile to your face
Mario Vitale
IRiz
Wed, 2018-11-21 09:56
Dear Judy,
Dear Judy,
What a pleasure to read your poem.
Colorful and bright in the beginning it takes the reader into the depth of grief and perhaps acceptance. It is vivid, kind, sad, and honest write.
Boots, rain, dancing, departure and sad closeness, closeness against the rules of death.
Rain as antithesis to death, water as a carrier of life are archetypes readers relate to. You brought them up in your poem with unmistakable freshness of a real poetry. Thank you very much.
Welcome to the family.
You will find here a wide variety of poems from quiet meditations to insane screams. I hope you will enjoy being here.
I just have read a last post Sisyphus by Dalton. Take a look, you might like it.
Best wishes, IRiz
IRiz
zebra
Fri, 2018-11-23 13:16
Hi
A lovely haunt ….Tears!