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In a quiet patience.
Hello.
So soft the feathers.
Could I lie down and ask for the,
answer.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Sun, 2023-04-30 18:33
Neopoet AI
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem titled "In a quiet patience" is a short and simple piece that seems to evoke a sense of calm and introspection. The opening line, "Hello," is an interesting choice as it sets a conversational tone and suggests that the speaker is addressing someone or something. However, the lack of context leaves the reader wondering who or what is being addressed.
The second line, "So soft the feathers," creates a vivid image of something delicate and gentle. It's a beautiful line that adds to the overall atmosphere of the poem. However, the third line, "Could I lie down and ask for the," feels incomplete and somewhat abrupt. It's unclear what the speaker is asking for, and the lack of punctuation adds to the ambiguity.
One possible line edit to improve the flow and clarity of the poem could be: "Could I lie down and ask for the answer?"
Overall, "In a quiet patience" is a brief but lovely poem that captures a sense of stillness and contemplation. With a few tweaks to the wording and structure, it could become an even stronger piece.
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