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The Questions that Torment My Mind

Today I noticed how the sky
looked without you by my side and
I was surprised that the promised
doom appeared to have departed
along with your final goodbye.
Why couldn't you have left sooner?

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
This is tetrameter blank verse with no concern for foot. This was inspired by a friend's trials, not my own.
Editing stage: 


absolutely awesome, i love it , your friend is you in the poem , so sorry

where strikes me most is "appeared to have departed", and like Dennis Brutus the emotion seems very controlled i like the structure

A write that only you could achieve, enjoyed it better knowing it was not for you, but give my best thoughts to your friend.
Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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