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A quatrain of Pentemeter - second attempt attempt ( iamb meter )

Autumn is full of fruit and bright sunlight.
It brings tasty morsels ready to eat.
The beasts of earth banquet before winter
gorging, in haste, until feeling replete.

Au..tumn / is full / of fruit / and bright / sun light
it brings / ta..sty / mor..sels / rea..dy / to eat.
The beasts / of earth / ban..quet / be..fore / win..ter
gor..ging / in haste / un..til / fee..ling / re..plete.

Third attempt - iambic

The fall is full of fruit and bright sunlight.
It brings the sweetest taste now known to man.
The beasts of earth take heed, before the end
and eat, in haste, before the cold takes hold.

The fall / is full / of fruit / and bright / sun..light
it brings / the sweet / est taste / now known / to man
the beasts / of earth / take heed / be..fore / the end
and eat / in haste / be..fore / the cold / takes hold.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I have a feeling I've got this all wrong - but I thought I'd post them up anyway. He he
Editing stage: 
Workshop: 

Comments

are you attempting dear mand? If you please include it in your title.
Many thanks.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Hi Rula - sorry I've been out of touch! I think these ones are in iambic meter!

author comment

here is the scansion

Autumn| is full| of fruit|and bright |sunlight.(ONE trochee and three iamb)

 It brings| tasty |morsels |ready| to eat.|( Iamb-Torchee-Torchee-Torchee-iamb)

 The beasts |of earth |banquet| before| winter(iamb-iamb-Trochee-iamb-Trochee)

 gorging|, in haste,| until |feeling| replete.(Trochee-iamb-Trochee-Trochee-iamb)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

I don't seem to be getting the gist of this - I'll try and re-arrange it! and re - post.

Nice of you to come by and help! much appreciated.

Love Mand xxx

author comment

asks for reading it naturally to see where should you stress. I was going to parse the second one for you
but it is the almost the same. Make your re-arrangement and let me see. Don't worry, you can also check the dictionary to see where is the stress placed.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

to a good job. YOU DID IT MANDY!
in your third attempt

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

Trochee. Remember it's the opposite....DUM du- DUM du.....
Good luck dear

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

you are a dream. I have attempted a trochee - will be posting.

Love Mand xxx

author comment

I've been writing in rhyme and meter all my life and haven't yet figured out the true logistics of it! I just go with what sound right to my ear and figure it will sound the same to most other ears as well, if pronounced correctly! I think you have done a marvelous job with this, so, keep on keepin' on!

Kind of you to come by to read and comment. I so love this site because they are actively teaching how to write poetry and give honest critique. I joined another site but it is no where near as good - even though it is aesthetically pleasing. I am really enjoying learning.

Thanks again Lonnie! got to go now.

Hope to see you soon.

Love Mand xxxxx

author comment
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