Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Pyromaniac

Submitted by Rainy Day on Tue, 2016-02-09 04:05

Anger slowly burning
Rage ever consuming
It floods and it flushes
Pink into the cheeks
Like a human torch exploding
You who holds my matches
And sears the heart with yearning
Scalds the soul with hurting
Igniting hidden reservoirs
Of oil and kerosene
Wicks heated with gasoline
And with a word or a touch
With love or with hate
My arsonist, you create
Within and out of me
A pyromaniac

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Esker

Tue, 2016-02-09 09:23

Esker's picture

flicker and sizzle
that tension
reminds me of heart sickness
a true malady tested
flushed skin
heart rate fast
shallow breathing
the thoughts racing
fight or flee
like a madness
engulfing the house of
cards
all the energy released

magnesium and steel...

thank U

Rainy Day

Wed, 2016-02-10 03:41

Rainy Day's picture

Thank you Esker! That is beautiful!

author comment

Esker

Fri, 2016-02-19 06:57

Esker's picture

there is the surmise and the suffuse
the grand and gratious
the maladious meliforous
the ugly and sharp
glimmering

I do like the way you put your poems
together

again

thank U~!

Geezer

Thu, 2016-02-18 08:48

Geezer's picture
Volunteer badge

Complete! So much heat here! I like this a lot. The bits of rhyme here and there, make this very readable and add to the overall work. Your language use was fine and the consistency throughout was great. Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Rainy Day

Thu, 2016-03-17 03:46

Rainy Day's picture

Thank you both so very much

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.