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Puzzled...
She says she knows all the names
but she has trouble finding the right ones
and she keeps mixing them up
like so many pieces of a puzzle
Be careful, don't lose too many pieces
or you may not have enough left
to fill your mind
then there will be empty places
Puzzles, she loved them so
but now, they are beyond puzzling
They sit forgotten
no one to play with
Home among strangers
The nights are silent
She wakes with the dawn
Finding new faces each morning
The birds are unconcerned
they eat their seed and fly away
Someday, the window will be empty
and I don't want to cry
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Gracy
Sat, 2020-07-25 12:23
Good morning Geez, what a sad
Good morning Geez, what a sad poem. I think it's about your wife, or your mother? Sorry, I get mixed up myself.
The title is perfect and the content clear. The ending sure makes me want to cry.
No nits from me. I'll return, it's my lunch hour.
We're about 6 inches under snow here, I don't think I'll get my daily walk.
Best, Gracy
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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury
Geezer
Sat, 2020-07-25 12:32
Yes...
about my mother. I wanted to show the discombobulation and confusion of the world of those sufferering a devastaing disease
like Alzhiemer's- Dementia. Thank you for your kind words, ~, Geez.
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raj
Sat, 2020-07-25 13:26
Hi Geezer
Just read what you said about the inspiration for this poem...pretty sad but expressed very well...the poem runs smooh on the tongue...i thought you may want to change the concluding line...
be well..
raj (sublime_ocean)
Geezer
Sat, 2020-07-25 14:26
I think I will...
let the last line stand as is. I don't want to cry! When I tthink of her window being empty, it makes me want to cry. ~ Geez.
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Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
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c lynn brooks
Sat, 2020-07-25 14:21
Gee
This came on the heals of our conversation and it brought memories and tears
well written you point came across clearly
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Geezer
Sat, 2020-07-25 14:28
Thank you...
Yes, she is not too bad yet, but it will come and I don't want to cry. Thanks for your kind words, they do help. ~ Geez.
.
Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
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Serendipity
Sat, 2020-07-25 14:35
Dearest Bro
I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face. I dont even have to ask who (I dont think anyway) Mum ? This portrays the loss of memory in an elderly person so beautifully, i was just thinking of a family I grew up with and they've all passed now, not one of them saw 40. Early onset Alzheimer's one has a son and there is a test he can take to see if hes afflicted. He said he doesn't want to know yet, either way
So sad my Brother. Damn it this is one of your best. And what mades it so poignant is my Dad is going thr same way as your Mum. Dads 91 this year
Bravo, like a fine wine over the years youve matueed and turned into a magnificent poet who'se poetey has new depth and rhythm
If I could hug you right now I would, it would be the most gentle one. Either of us could break lol
With all my love Sis xxx
("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)
Geezer
Sat, 2020-07-25 15:51
Now, you're making me cry...
I would love to get those hugs in person,., but... your words will do. My mom is going to be 94, I thought it was 93 but 94! Love and higgest bugs. ~ Gee.
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Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.
Teddy15
Sun, 2020-07-26 13:36
Dear Geezer
What a wonderful free verse Puzzled... I love your title, I can feel the bewilderment yet full of dignity, your imagery is really strong. I can't choose a fave stanza because each one has been thought out so well. Your last one is truly wonderful. A very sad subject when our loved ones know longer know who we are, or indeed themselves.
Thank you...Teddy
Lavender
Sun, 2020-07-26 14:35
Puzzled
Hi, Geezer,
You have created a poem that brings endearment into a soft stillness - as if this moment is being engraved or permanently imprinted into your heart. Thank you for sharing this one.
L