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If life were a football game,
The wider the post, the easier the goal,
I would take my shots.

But my courage is like calculus on a blackboard,
And you are the problem
whose solution I struggle to find…

Hence, I stagger like an archer
afraid to aim,
Afraid he might not hit the mark.

My love is a journey,
The farther the destination,
The wearier the traveler.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


the signifigance of the title, but it drew me in. So I guess it did the job. Your language is fine, the pacing good too. I was a little puzzled by the theme, but maybe that's where the title comes in. I think that it is about trying to tell someone that you love them? A little murky. ~ Geez.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

That the metaphors in this poem were all fascinatingly intriguing and well-executed. I cannot critique because free verse simply is not my forte, but I enjoyed reading this. :)

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

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