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Puddle

Sometimes I feel like a spot on the ground
When I open my mouth and I don’t make a sound,
But really I’m not just a spot that you call
I’m just so big that I’m not seen at all.

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Comments

So few words, yet such depth. I am a wordy poet, yet sometimes it is the shortest pieces that say the most. And this can be interpreted a few ways. I keep feeling the need to reread it. Much enjoyed!

My only suggestion would be for line 3. Take out the "just" because it is only repeated in line 4. And the "just" in line 4 seems to fit better. The rhyme will be a little more in rhythm as well.

~ Lavinia ~

"You could say I lost everything. But I still had my Bedazzler. I'm going to be a star. You know why? Because I have nothing left to lose." ~ Lady Gaga ~

nice poem with meaningful words

benevolence

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