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P.T.S.D....

In the middle of the night
When the clock is ticking slow
I close my eyes real tight
Bid the dreams to go

Nightmares ride in style
On steeds of satin black
Fading for a while
Now, I hear them coming back

Shadows on the wall
Noises in the night
There's creaking in the hall
Giving me a fright

Say it is not real
Hold me close and then
Off to dreamland steal
And here they come again

The messages they bring
I don't want to hear
Just mind-tricks, hear them sing
A chorus made of fear

All these lies that they are telling
I can't bear it, want to weep
Voices past are yelling
And I just want some sleep

The dawn is breaking, the sky is light
I shudder, make you wake
You cannot fathom what I fight
"Oh, for goodness sake!"

Don't you see, it's real to me?
Can't escape it when I try
I turn away, so you don't see
This grown man still cries

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
A story that I heard about someone who has nightmares often.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Line 7 try something like "they fade for a while"..line 11 try "mere creaking in the hall"...line 23 try "Passed voices keep on yelling"...Last line " This tough grown man cry"
PTSD can have causes other than combat although that is the most common. My knee problems began over 40 years ago due to a chain saw accident. For years just the sound of a chain saw gave me the newbie jeebies. You poem is,I expect, an accurate description......stan

I am going to look over the suggestions you gave me and try them out. Yes, I know of a few people that stress out over different things. After being bitten by a Cottonmouth snake, I couldn't bear to be in the presence of any snake, big or small, poisonous or not! It took years to get over it and I still can't handle a snake of any size. Thanks for the feedback. ~ Gee.
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author comment

I liked the poem very much. My daughter suffers from nightmares and finds it difficult to get enough sleep. She also finds it very real and tries to avoid sleeping by keeping very busy.

T

The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight

I have had nightmares so real, that I have sat up in bed, sweat running off me and shaking all over. I am allergic to morphine and when administered in the hospital for extreme pain, had nightmares so real, that I couldn't sleep for a couple of days until it wore off. Thank you for you comments. ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

A great write and a reminder to many of the silent horror of having been in a stressful situation that clings to the soul always.. You take care young warrior, Yours Ian,
I am on Sparrow 42 computer today, this is the morning one "Sparrow" is on the evening one lol.. I think I may use this one just for comments it will be easier to keep track of things, when I got this comp I couldn't get my password from anywhere for Neopoet so had to open "Sparrow 42 "

Words can build a nation

Sounds like a secret agent! Or the code name of a Top Secret project! Lol Thanks for your comments, much appreciated. ~ Gee.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

"Is the answer to everything" lol It was the year I was born lol

Words can build a nation

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